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spockandawe · 3 years ago

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mmm, thinking about the guanyin temple scene, and the things jin guangyao finally says once people corner him.

Wei Wuxian laughed from anger, staring at Su She. “Have I ever done anything to you? I didn’t see you as an enemy— I didn’t even know you!”

Jin Guangyao said, “Wei-gongzi, shouldn’t you be the one who knows this best? Would you be safe just because you didn’t see him as an enemy? How could that be? In this world, everyone begins without enemies. Yet someone eventually moves to strike that first blow.”

and we only see a sliver of his childhood, but like, in just that TINY moment, first

The woman said, “Oh, why would I lie to you about something like this? Her son is running errands for us right now. There, that’s him.” The woman twisted her waist, waving at a boy holding a tray. “Xiao-Meng! Come here!”

The boy did as he was told and walked over. “Anxin-jie, what is it?”

All at once, Wei Wuxian understood everything.

The clients studied Meng Yao with judgmental eyes. Meng Yao asked again, “Am I needed for something?”

Anxin grinned. “Xiao-Meng, are you still learning all those things lately?”

Meng Yao paused. “Which things?”

Anxin said, “The things your mother wants you to learn, like calligraphy, etiquette, swordsmanship, meditation… How are those things going?”

Before she even finished, the clients began to chuckle as if they thought something was funny. Anxin turned around. “Don’t laugh, I’m telling the truth. His mom’s raising him like a young master of a wealthy family. She taught him to read and write, bought him all sorts of swordsmanship pamphlets, and even wants to send him to school.”

A client exclaimed, “Send him to school? Did I hear wrong?”

“No! Xiao-Meng, tell these gongzis. You’ve gone to the library before, haven’t you?”

The client asked, “Is he still going?”

Anxin said, “Nah, he came back just a few days later. He refused to go back, no matter what. Xiao-Meng, did you not like studying, or did you not like the place?”

Meng Yao didn’t say anything. Anxin giggled, poking a red-painted finger at his forehead, “Little one, are you angry?”

She pressed quite hard. A light, red mark appeared in the center of Meng Yao’s forehead, almost like a shadow of a vermillion mark. He touched his forehead. “No…”

an adult woman makes a point of calling him over just so she and her clients can laugh at his expense. and then moments later

Suddenly, someone screamed. The sound of cups and saucers shattering came from the second floor as a guqin crashed down, smashing to pieces as it hit landed in the hall. It scared the wits out of the people enjoying themselves at the nearby tables. Anxin stood, almost tripping, yelling, “What happened?!”

Meng Yao cried, “A-Niang!”

Anxin looked up. A burly man dragged a woman out of a room by her hair. Anxin tugged the sleeve of the client next to her. It was unclear whether she was nervous or excited. “She’s at it again!”

Meng Yao rushed upstairs. The woman covered her head, trying her hardest to pull her clothes up her shoulders. As she saw Meng Yao run over, she hurriedly cried, “I told you not to come upstairs! Go down! Go down this instant!”

As Meng Yao tried to peel away the client’s hands from his mother, he was kicked in the stomach and rolled down the stairs, causing a wave of exclamations.

This was the third time Wei Wuxian had seen him kicked down a flight of stairs.

The woman screamed as the client grabbed her by the hair again, dragging her all the way downstairs, where he stripped her and threw her onto the street. He spat on her naked body, cursing, “Hags do nothing but haggle— This old whore thinks she’s fresh meat!”

he watches his mother get physically attacked and thrown naked into the streets, just because she tried to get decent payment for her work. and he’s kicked down the stairs for trying to help her

After the kick, Meng Yao hadn’t been able to get up, and was still lying on the ground. The lady grabbed one person with each hand and dragged away both the mother and son.

that’s so much unnecessary cruelty! in such a small time! and it’s not like everything is magically fixed once he enters the cultivation world, he still has to deal with all the pointing and laughing, getting kicked down the stairs of jinlintai when he just tried to present himself to his father, the gossip without regard for whether he can hear it, people wiping their hands after they accept a cup from him, madam jin beating him, hearing his father drunkenly talk about how his mother was such a huge pain in the ass, and he didn’t want to support her because it would have been annoying. there was so much suffering that he never ““asked”” for in any sense.

and given the ways that wei wuxian and jin guangyao are parallels for each other, especially in terms of the hardships they endure, i definitely think it’s both interesting and important that the story repeatedly emphasizes 1) wei wuxian’s terrible memory, and 2) jin guangyao’s perfect memory.

Wei Wuxian knew that ‘for once’ referred to how his memory had been good, for once. He couldn’t help but smile. “Don’t always be so angry about it. It was my fault before, alright? Besides, my terrible memory is thanks to my mother.”

Wei Wuxian propped his arm on Lil’ Apple’s head, spinning Chenqing in his hand. “She said you have to remember the things others do for you, not the things you do for others. Only when people don’t hold so much in their hearts will they finally feel free.”

This was one of the only things he remembered about his parents.

Jin Guangyao could remember the name, title, age, and appearance of any person after just one encounter. Even years later, he’d be able to greet them without any fault, and carry out a solicitous conversations as well. If he’d seen someone more than twice, he would remember all of their likes and dislikes, and would therefore be able to cater to their needs.

there’s a lot at play in the different ways that the two of them react to the suffering they lived through, but that line about ‘someone always moves to strike that first blow’ really stuck with me. preemptive hostility doesn’t feel like wei wuxian’s style in general (post-burial-mounds ptsd excluded), but the difference in how they react to being singled out and mistreated is really striking. madam yu hits wei wuxian for being shirtless in the summer heat, even though everyone else was too, and when there’s a quiet moment he’s kind of :(( over ‘why is it always ME’, but he gets distracted in like two seconds, and pushes it all away. jin guangyao can compartmentalize like a motherfucker, and even as a child, he’s good at keeping a smile on his face no matter what, but he isn’t able to forget.

i don’t have a clean-cut conclusion to come to, only that i’m a picky binch when it comes to how people characterize jin guangyao’s actions. this is a story where i personally struggle a lot with how badly these characters hurt each other, and how sympathetic i am to all of their motivations. i find the story agonizing, in a lot of very good ways, and i’m constantly overflowing with thoughts about how jin guangyao specifically parallels the people around him, and how his actions compare and contrast to the decisions those other people make. rereading the flashback sequences was one of the most painful parts of this whole reread process, and then the guanyin temple scene in general hurt way much more than i was expecting. for the most part, i have too many feelings screaming for attention right now to do justice to any of them, but this particular character note jumped out at me, and i felt compelled to share.

#mdzs #jin guangyao #wei wuxian #long post/

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yiling-daddy · 4 years ago

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Yes, that was me! I can definitely expand on my thoughts re: how Madam Yu’s behaviour reads differently to me due to my traditional, Chinese upbringing.

There is a lot of subjectivity as to whether Madam Yu can be read as abusive, and this reading is often influenced by culture—hence you often see completely off-base takes floating around. However, to me, the way that cultural context influences the reading will actually change depending on the relationship, so I will discuss each one separately. Most of the culturally insensitive takes are about her being an abusive or uncaring mother (she’s not), or that she’s a spurned woman (it’s more complicated than that), so you can skip down to the JC, JYL, and CSSR sections for that.

Madam Yu and Wei Wuxian

As a trend, I think western fandom tends to simplify Wei Wuxian’s dynamic with the Jiang family into an entire adopted family. Consequently, Yu Ziyuan gets perceived as this two-dimensional, evil stepmom figure—but I think this doesn’t capture the truth.

There’s a bit more variability among Chinese audiences when they read the Jiang family dynamic, partly due to our deeper familiarity with wuxia tropes, but mostly because there's a mediocre Netflix translation colouring the western interpretation. Though many Chinese fans do view them all as a sort of family unit and read Madam Yu as a stepmother, I do not. To me, Jiang Fengmian and Jiang Yanli view Wei Wuxian as family—but Madam Yu does not. Madam Yu views him as a servant, a disciple of the sect, and an outsider at the dinner table—and it’s not wrong for her to do so. It’s not gracious, but it’s not unfounded. I don’t think Wei Ying ever gives any indication that he views her as a mother, either.

If you agree that they don’t have anything like a mother-son relationship, all these insults/complaints that Yu Ziyuan levels at him—that he’s the “son of a servant”, that Jiang Fengmian is weird for openly favouring Wei Wuxian over his own son, etc.—these start to make sense? Like, it’s shitty to listen to, but none of it is wrong. Suddenly it reads less like pointless insults and more like actual points.

Additionally, if we consider that Wei Wuxian is a disciple of the sect who goes around and raises the ire of the Wen clan, corporal punishment suddenly looks very normal (again, within the culture). Hence, when I watched the donghua and CQL, I hated seeing Wei Wuxian getting whipped, but I didn’t perceive this as abuse—especially because of the political nature of the decision.

But it is definitely still possible to mistreat a disciple.

In CQL, you see Madam Yu throwing an unnecessary amount of vitriol at Wei Ying. In the novel extras, it's revealed that she regularly whipped him but never whipped the other disciples, indicating that it wasn't normal corporal punishment. She also whipped him for absurdly stupid reasons. To me, this signals that she tended to abuse her authority over him. Even if you don’t view her as an abusive mother to Wei Ying, it's fair to read her as an abusive authority figure.

Importantly however, "abuse" is a loaded word suggesting a violation of social norms, and again, the situation is complicated because the social norms of the setting don't match those of the modern world. Madam Yu is not overstepping her bounds as master of Lotus Pier—hence, people do not think very much of this treatment in-universe, including Wei Ying himself.

Madam Yu, Jiang Cheng, and Jiang Yanli

Okay, when I first watched CQL, I cringed when Madam Yu started dragging her family because she sounded like My Actual Chinese Mother. I felt for a second like I had transmigrated into Jiang Cheng’s body and I was experiencing his agony firsthand!

Madam Yu reads very realistically, and I think this is why it gets personal for a lot of Chinese people when this fandom discusses her character. Yes, she belittles and hurts her children for their perceived failures, but many Chinese people can tell you that this is just a common parenting style. And while it might look like bullying to an outsider, this behaviour is usually motivated by love. It is often also motivated by fear that the child’s future will be substandard. This is textually obvious when you consider what exactly Madam Yu yells about:

She snaps at Yanli to stop peeling lotus pods, because she shouldn’t act like a servant. If Yanli keeps behaving so passively, what kind of role is she going to fall into in the future—especially given that she is not a cultivator?

She berates Jiang Cheng for always being inferior to Wei Wuxian no matter what he does. If Jiang Cheng is constantly overshadowed by Wei Wuxian, what will that mean for his future as sect leader? Or his future status and reputation among the sects?

I can do these Chinese Mom Translations because parents in real life will actually say things like this out of concern for their children (insults included), in an attempt to motivate them... and it really does light a fire under our asses. I attribute many of my personal successes to this parenting style. Thus, when I see posts like “Madam Yu didn’t show any sign of caring for others” or "Madam Yu was a purely selfish and arrogant person" or “Madam Yu is an abusive mother and nothing else"—well, I can tell most of these people are not Chinese, or if they are, then they likely did not have a traditional upbringing.

While I don't think these uninformed readings of Madam Yu are necessarily racist, I do think they they are unpleasant for Chinese fans to constantly see. For those of us in the west that had this type of upbringing, we often struggle with trying to frame and process our relationships with our parents. For me, this was partly due to the emotional baggage of my upbringing (Jiang Cheng winning!!!)... but it was also because white society kept telling me that my parents didn't give a shit about me when obviously they did. That’s fucked up to experience. It reeks of cultural imperialism. Thus, when I see Chinese people getting annoyed at these Madam Yu takes, I’m not surprised. This is unfortunately a fictional discussion that very much resembles a real one for us.

Yu Ziyuan, Jiang Fengmian, and Cangse Sanren

A lot of people view Madam Yu as a spurned woman and assume that is her motivation for constantly antagonizing Wei Wuxian and her husband. But because I assume that a lot of her chaotic yelling stems from her concerns as an Actual Chinese Mother, my take is different.

Remember the scene where Madam Yu catches Jiang Fengmian scolding Jiang Cheng just after praising Wei Wuxian? She drags Jiang Cheng up to his father and, in both CQL and the donghua, says something to this effect (paraphrased from memory):

This is your son, the future master of Lotus Pier! Even if you don’t like him because he was born to me, his surname is still Jiang!

And in CQL, she also says this right after berating Jiang Cheng for not measuring up to Wei Wuxian:

But it’s not your fault. Your mother is no match for his mother.

Yu Ziyuan isn’t angry about Cangse Sanren because she’s jealous; she is angry about Cangse Sanren because she thinks Jiang Fengmian’s feelings for her are jeopardizing his competence as a father to Jiang Cheng. Viewed in this light, it also makes sense why Yu Ziyuan is hostile to Wei Wuxian in a way that alienates him from the family—constantly calling him the son of a servant, pointing out the rumours about his parentage, etc. She’s not doing this because she hates Cangse Sanren or Wei Wuxian; she’s doing it because Wei Wuxian’s presence in the family is threatening Jiang Cheng’s future in her eyes.

Bonus: Did Yu Ziyuan love Jiang Fengmian?

Yes! In both the donghua and CQL (I ashamedly admit I don’t clearly remember the novel), I thought their final moments made it quite evident that they cared for each other. They fought together, died together to protect their home, and reached out to one another in their final moments.

But when I rewatched Madam Yu’s scenes in CQL and the donghua, I realized we got other hints that westerners probably missed. I'll focus on CQL:

Right before Jiang Fengmian sets off with Yanli for Lanling, Madam Yu sees them off. She gives Yanli some snacks and then—without making eye contact with Jiang Fengmian—says that she’s also giving them medicine in case someone gets a headache. Jiang Fengmian pauses, because it’s obviously for him.

This is recognizable behaviour for a lot of Chinese people. I can’t tell you how many times my mother got apoplectic at me, and then the only follow-up was her going out of her way to make me my favourite meal. The chaotic yelling you see between Jiang Fengmian and Yu Ziyuan is also pretty typical to many Chinese parents, and again, the follow-up in my household was often one of them going out of their way to do something for the other.

This is just how the culture is in a lot of families. “Sorry” isn’t expressed in words; it's expressed in actions. “I love you” isn’t expressed in words; it’s expressed in actions. In Chinese culture, the dominant love language is acts of service. It's fleeting, but we get glimpses of that kind of love between Yu Ziyuan and Jiang Fengmian.

#the untamed #cql #wei wuxian #jiang cheng #yu ziyuan #madam yu #jiang yanli #cangse sanren #jiang fengmian #mdzs #mo dao zu shi #damn i guess its madam yu loving hours here #my meta

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fengshenjunlang · 7 months ago

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@owl-it-here

First of all, Whooa, I can't believe I actually act like JFM's attorney. Not when in reality I'm not impressed by him, at all. But I'm just fed up at people "antagonizing" him as if he'd committed all the 3 Buddhist Poison. Even more fed up when people actually blame him compared to Yu Ziyuan ?? Really?? It's said that discrimination is only against women, but in this case, people often discriminate against men when a couple had a failed marriage.

This is my reply to your (1-5) points that you've mentioned regarding YZY.

(1) Regarding YZY's punishment and the corporal punishment of the era. First of all, nope, there is no mention at all in the novel that YZY is the one responsible for the punishment in YMJ.

Most importantly, corporal punishment will only be fair and just when the right and wrong is clear. Just like GusuLan's punishment. They didn't whip WWX at the slightest rule breaking, but only when it's exceeding a certain limit would they give corporal punishment.

But what about Yu Ziyuan? Did she have a clear motive to punish WWX with corporal punishment?

NOPE.

What's mentioned in the novel is out of her personal reason :

"It was lucky for him if she didn't give him a few whips and send him to kneel in the ancestral hall so that he'd keep his distance from Jiang Cheng."

Excerpt from Chapter 29.

Then how much frequent was her "personal punishment" to WWX to be called as abuse? It's mentioned again later in chapter 87:

Wei WuXian mused, "How did you know? That's right. Madam Yu punished me almost every day."

Lan WangJi nodded, "I have heard of a few things."

Wei WuXian, "It's so famous that even people outside Yunmeng, even you Gusu people know-how could it be 'a few things'? But, to be honest, in all these years, I've never seen a second woman whose temper was as bad as Madam Yu's. She told me to go to the ances- tral hall and kneel no matter how small the matter was. Hahaha..."

Without basis, without rules, merely out of personal feelings, she punished WWX almost everyday, frequent enough to be heard thousands of miles away in Gusu by LWJ who didn't even listen to gossip.

Do you think that's a fair and just corporal punishment of the era?

Let's look again at the example clearly written in the novel to show how YZY whipped WWX with Zidian:

Wei WuXian yelled, "Sorry! I didn't know Shijie would come! I'll go look for my clothes right now!"

Madam Yu was even angrier, "How dare you run! Come back right now and kneel!" As she spoke, she let loose her whip with a flip of her wrist. Wei WuXian felt a searing pain slash across his back. He loudly exclaimed, "Ow!" And almost tripped on the ground.

Excerpt from Lotus Pods chapter.

What exactly happened at that time, it was later explained by Jiang Yanli still from the same chapter:

Jiang YanLi almost cried from her mother's pinching, mumbling, "Mom, A-Xian and the others were hiding here to relieve the heat and I came here on my own. Don't blame them...

Without knowing right or wrong, the first thing she did is to whip WWX. Is that a fair and just punishment??

In addition, look at that, Whooa, a mom who loves her daughter to pinch her to tears.

What about toward her son? Let's see in chapter 51 how she treated her own son:

Madam Yu squeezed his arm with her slender fingers, then slapped his shoulder loudly, scolding, "There's isn't any improvement in your cultivation at all. You're seventeen already, yet you're still like an ignorant child, fooling around with others all the time. Are you the same as others? Who knows which sewers other people will be splashing in, but you're going to be the leader of the Jiang Sect!"

Jiang Cheng stumbled from the slap, head lowered, not daring to protest.

Whooa, a loving mother who hit her own child, until a 17 years old male Cultivators with trained body stumbled from the slap.

Under what reason? Just because he doesn't improve much (according to her own liking).

While the real reason why JC has to "fool around" like she said in the above was because she told them herself, not to go around outside to provoke the Wen:

"It's not that we want to shoot kites in Lotus Pier but, right now, isn't it that none of us are allowed to leave? The Wen Sect assigned all of the nighthunt areas to itself. Even if I wanted to nighthunt, there isn't anywhere for me to go. Το stay at home and not go outside to provoke or fight for prey with the Wen Sect-isn't this what you yourself made clear to Father?"

Whooa, is that a reasonable mother or teacher?

She told the children not to run around, but she hit them when they're not improving??

While in fact, her son was currently "training his archery" even when they can't train it outside.

Those actions from YZY, are they still a fair and just corporal punishment?

Fair and just mean everyone should receive the consequence with a basis. But YZY's punishment have no basis, have no rules, have no fairness.

The largely spread accusation about JFM's not being involved enough in his children's life. As you've said:

-not being active in your child live enough is one of the form of it, i think it was stated that he do not spend enough time one on one with his children,

I'll answer it with this excerpt from the novel:

The framework had been assembled by Jiang FengMian himself, then given to Jiang YanLi to paint. This was why, whenever they took the kite out to compete, they both felt a sense of pride.

Excerpt from chapter 32.

Look there, a father who actually spend his time with his son and daughter, OMG!

JFM, who allegedly had ignored his children, was actually the one who gave his son a normal childhood. He made kites for his son and his friends, to play like a real child should be.

What did YZY ever give to JC?? And people dare to say JFM is worse than her???

That is also an answer to your 7th point about JFM not giving explanation for JC's dogs.

Yes, he send away JC's dogs but in return, he personally made him a toy and push him to play with his friends. He shows his affection by action. He gave compensation and explanation directly using action. If that is not a parents love, I don't know what is.

Please do note that JC had also understood the reason why his father had to send his dogs away was because WWX had an extreme trauma with them (not because JFM is discriminating against dog lovers as many accused). Which is why JC later said "I will drive the dogs for you". This is showing that even child-JC already understood his father's intention.

Of course, people will argue that JFM shouldn't send the dogs away and keep it nearby, etc, etc, which is why JFM isn't the best parent out there. But let's first look at his intention, to determine whether he is cruel toward his child or not.

Next, JFM's not being involved with his children's life is even more fanon than fanon.

When it's already mentioned in the novel that he has tried to teach JC since childhood.

(see chapter 56).

The founder of the YunmengJiang Sect, Jiang Chi, was born a rogue cultivator. The ways of the sect were honest and unrestrained. Madam Yu’s manners were the exact opposite. And, both Jiang Cheng’s looks and personality took after his mother. He hadn’t ever been to Jiang FengMian’s liking. Since birth, he taught him in many ways, yet he still couldn’t change, which was why Jiang FengMian had always seemed as though he didn’t favor him too much.

JFM trying to teach JC the way of YunmenJiang Cultivator is equal to LQR teaching LWJ their 3,000 rules and righteousness. The foundation of their Sect. The essence of a Lan Clan's cultivator.

Imagine if a Lan Clan'a heir didn't abide by their rules and be a gentleman, what would they become?

Yes. Another Su Minshan.

"- I don't think that he spoke with JYL about her marriege agreement"

This.

You're asking me if I judge JFM and YZY using modern standard, but others are clearly using modern standard here.

In the past, marriage for women is up to the parents and matchmaker. Which is why YZY could wilfully engage her baby daughter when the girl has yet to even know what engagement is.

Not just JFM, but even JGS couldn't prevent their wives from initiating the engagement.

And JFM breaking the engagement is clearly the wisest move, seeing how JZX trampled JYL's dignity like a rag.

And people still said YZY is better than JFM?

Or JFM is "equally" worse with YZY?

Nope. Not even a little bit equal. Stop discriminating against men in a case of Marital failure.

I don't understand why people say Yu Ziyuan is the better parent while Jiang Fengmian is worse, whereas in the entire MDZS, Jiang Fengmian is the only one who tried to teach Jiang Cheng right from wrong (read how JFM tried to teach JC how to control his temper and his words after Xuanwu Cave).

But what about Yu Ziyuan? Aside from instilling the idea "Your Father doesnt like you" and mentally belittling her own children, what did she ever teach to Jiang Cheng? To Jiang Yanli?

She taught JC how to keep feeling unreasonable jealousy and envy of others. JFM never praised JC, but has YZY ever acknowledge JC either? What she did was to tell him that he is not good enough. Never good enough. What she did was keep comparing him to other people's children without ever acknowledging her own son's capability.

She taught JYL that the act of affection between people is servitude. Her, giving her Xiongdi a peeled lotus seed as an affectionate gesture between loved ones, was implied as humbling herself, as she was told "You are not a servant!"

Look at what good teaching this woman gave to her children.

And people say she is the better parent??

#jiang fengmian #yu ziyuan #wei wuxian #jiang cheng #jiang yanli #madam yu

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jiangwanyinscatmom · 3 years ago

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I got into mdzs through the donghua and at first I was like "the baby grape's life is so sad 🥺" but then I see him do nothing but yell and scream and keep getting in wwx's way and I got really annoyed. Like dude if you loathe conflict so much then why don't you take a page out of your sister's book and cook soup instead of berating the guy who is actually doing something. He and yzy don't want to make any efforts but scream like a banshee when things don't go the way they want. Whenever I see his stans say "oh but he was manipulated/didn't had a choice!" I feel like eye rolling my eyes out of the eye socket. Is he some damsel in distress that couldn't do anything? Hell even mianmian who once was a damsel in distress, had the guts to stand up for someone who helped her and when those trash sect leaders talked shit about her, she left like a self respecting person unlike jc who keeps licking their feet. SoCIAl hE1rArcHy? more like cowardice lol

Late replies~ (I'm sorry so sorry lol it has been very very busy in life)!

But I agree with a lot of what you write here, a lot of MXTX villains hold the same theme of very much having the free will (despite varying degrees of harshness within life) to do better, kinder, choose love over resentment/power/jealousy etc, yet at every turn not taking that choice. They choose to relish within that hate.

In MDZS when it comes to the likes of Madam Yu, Jiang Cheng, Jin Guangyao, and Xue Yang, they each have in common using their lack of happiness in their life to act like they never really had a choice when they chose their extremes. They place the blame on others,

Madam Yu places her lack of finding love not on herself because she is cruel and abrasive, but on Jiang Fengmian for not liking her as she is, he needs to change himself. Jiang Cheng uses the guilt he thinks Wei Wuxian should feel for saving others that were not the Jiangs as a vice grip promise that Wei Wuxian has chosen his loyalty wrong and betrayed him constantly, Wei Wuxian can not do right by the standards of Jiang Cheng much like what his mother used to do to him. Jin Guangyao uses the fact that his low status meant he had no choice but to choose cruelty to protect himself, even long after his own father was gone and dug his hole of violence even deeper than it was ever needed. Xue Yang blames the world for what he is and refuses to say he himself had any part of the cruelty he set on others for despising the way people judged him however rightly.

Jiang Cheng does not hate conflict, he actively creates it several times when it comes to Wei Wuxian, he simply uses that as the excuse that Wei Wuxian makes problems for him as the inverse of what Madam Yu tried to stir up with herself, Jiang Fengmian, and Cangse Sanren. The rumors of them conveniently mirror Jiang Cheng, Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji later in life. And Jiang Cheng actively fueled the rumors against Wei Wuxian when he simply could have stood with Mianmian and Lan Wangji before everything spiraled. He chose his own jealousy first out of spite even when the tools not to were in front of him.

#mdzs #mo dao zu shi #canon jiang cheng #jiang cheng #my love for this trash is the only right way to express it #admit it JC stans

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plan-d-to-i · 3 years ago

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Istg takes like this will be my vilain origin story

God forbid JC loses his pets so the orphan homeless child who endured more trauma in his short life than most people suffer in a lifetime wouldn't have to live in constant terror

Jfm did the right thing sending those dogs away, he even tried to wait a few days to see if wwx got over his fear but when he didn't jfm had no other choice (unless these stans think jfm should've sent wwx away so JC could keep the dogs)

I think jfm's only mistake in this matter was not having a conversation with JC about empathy, compassion, and selflessness and turning the situation into a learning experience that would have helped him grow into a less selfish and entitled person later (but then maybe he tried to do that and Madam Yu lost her shit like always and accused him of hating his son in front of said son)

YES. She was huffing and sneering all over the place so it's clear JFM didn't have much space to teach jiang cheng but also when did jiang cheng ever learn anyway?

Perfect time to answer this ask right after THIS post. Also the scene was :

"As soon as he went in, he saw a proud young master running around the training grounds, leading a few leashed puppies."

The only thing that would be friends w jiang cheng at the time were dogs. Understandable since that's how jc treats people. JFM also comforted him after giving them away:

This angered Jiang Cheng so much that he threw a big tantrum. No matter how much Jiang FengMian comforted him gently, telling him that they should ‘be good friends’, he refused to talk to Wei WuXian.

Wei Wuxian is the same age as jc and he wouldn't take a bun when he was STARVING because he didn't want to cause conflict between a bun seller and his wife. jc was a spoiled prick with zero ability to empathize with others since childhood. He knows threatening WWX w dogs is something his father would completely be against because it's wrong and he does it anyway. Then ofc he doesn't want to take responsibility for his actions. He doesn't call for help to find WWX and is just a liability himself in the search. BECAUSE HE AGAIN does not prioritize WWX's safety, he's just scared he'll get in trouble. He's a selfish, self absorbed shitbag just like his mother AND he's exactly the same as an adult. Unwilling to do the right thing but blaming everyone around him for it. Even when he acts heroically for once in his life he can't bear the consequences of it and resents WWX and thinks WWX owes him shit for the rest of his days.

Thinking how WWX was on the streets eating watermelon rinds so as not to bother others begging, or steal food, this hits that much harder:

Jiang Cheng told him from inside, “Go sleep somewhere else! This is my room! You’re even gonna steal my room?!”

At that time, Wei WuXian didn’t know what Jiang Cheng was mad about at all. After a pause, he replied, “I didn’t steal anything. It’s Uncle Jiang who told me to sleep with you.”

Hearing that he was still bringing up his father, almost as if he was purposely showing off, Jiang Cheng’s eyes reddened as he yelled, “Go away! If I see you again, I’ll call a bunch of dogs to bite you!”

Standing outside, as Wei WuXian heard that dogs would come bite him, fear immediately bubbled within him. Twisting his fingers, he hurried, “I’ll go, I’ll go. Don’t call the dogs!”

Dragging behind him the sheets and blanket that were thrown outside, he ran out the hall. Having only arrived at Lotus Pier for a short period of time, he didn’t dare jump around yet. Every day, he obediently holed up in the places that Jiang FengMian told him to stay at. He didn’t even know where his room was, much less have the courage to knock on other people’s doors, scared that it’d disturb someone’s dreams."

jiang cheng ís just a twisted person. He can only imagine others thinking and acting as he would. WWX bringing up JFM is interpreted in his mind as WWX showing off because that's how jc sees the world and moves and acts in it. I've seen plenty of children be kind and empathetic. jc is just a rotten person. I'm not surprised other self absorbed individuals who can only sympathize with their own issues relate so hard to him actually.

#mdzs #answers #Wei Wuxian #Canon jiang cheng #Yu Ziyuan

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untaemedqueen · 4 years ago

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Third Wheeling

CEO!Yoongi x Reader

Genre: Strangers to Lovers!AU, Angst, Fluff, Smut

Chapter 5.

Warnings (Updating Still): Smut, Cheating, Unexpected Pregnancy, Unfaithful, Emotional Damage

A/N: Shout out to my squad @ppersonna, @xjoonchildx, @ladyartemesia, @underthejoon for always spitballing ideas with me and reading over what I have written. I’m seriously so lucky to have my girls and my heart is so full with them around <3

Also the beautiful banner is by @xjoonchildx so now we have two gorgeous banners to alternate every other chapter! I’m so happyyyyyy!! Enjoy guys!

It's usually relaxed Sundays at the Yu penthouse like God intended them to be but instead this Sunday was filled with raucous screaming and over dramatic whining which you aren't exactly used to.

"Leena." Jin warns, almost as if he's speaking to a child.

You watch as your best friend takes the stuffed animal you won at the Fall Festival out of it's cardboard box before chucking it back onto your unmade bed. It's her act of defiance and it warms your heart slightly to know how much she loves you.

"Relax, would you?" Jin asks, wrapping a painting of yours in bubble wrap.

"No." She huffs out as she folds her arms.

You find yourself smirking as you wrap your arms around her. She stiffens slightly before melting into the hug and rocking you from side to side.

"I hate him. I hate him. I hate him!" She chants bitterly as Jin sets the painting against the wall.

"Why don't you tell us about your date with Taehyung?" Jin offers, trying to take her mind off of it.

"No." She replies childishly as she hugs you tighter.

Jin sighs gently as he picks up the contract. It's a thick packet with words and legal jargon you find yourself unable to understand.

"I'm going to go read this in the living room. Leena, come with me." Jin commands and she pouts at you as she pulls away.

"At least he bought her pretty things." She grumbles to your other best friend as she follows him out of your bedroom.

You sit on the edge of your bed, taking in the almost empty room. Your heart feels heavy in this moment. It's been almost six years since you moved into this apartment with Leena.

This new journey will be the start to something extremely different from your norm. This will be the first time that you won't be seeing your best friend everyday, or when you wake up in the morning. It's jarring and more importantly frightening.

You had already quit your managerial position at the hospital, you've already packed up all of the things deemed "acceptable" for Yoongi's home. It really is a new path for your life.

Your parents loved you so very dearly from when you were quite young. They always knew what to say and what to do, always pushed for you to do the right things quite like them. They worked so hard for you to have a better life than they did when they were young.

You can only hope to be as good of a parent as they were.

Telling them you were pregnant was terrifying at first. You expected them to be disappointed with you. But, surprisingly, they were supportive. It was incredibly comforting, because no matter what happens you could count on them.

Looking down at your flat stomach, although you don't look different, you feel different. With a sigh, you close your eyes for a fraction of a second before taking in a deep breath.

Everyone keeps telling you to be strong, to have strength and everything will work out but unfortunately it isn't that easy.

"Hey Y/N." Jin whispers as he leans against the door frame.

Opening your eyes, you give him a smile to try and tell him you're alright.

"The contract looks good. Namjoon did right by you." He tells you, holding up the packet and a pen.

You hold your hands out and he enters the room.

You can hear Leena's feet stomping down the long hallway as you put the packet on your lap.

She arrives in the doorway with a martini in hand and you tilt your head to her as she scowls.

"You can't have sex? Is he serious?" She scoffs.

You give a smirk as you sign the contract, "Seems like it. I asked him if I could have sex with him because he's the father and he sat there and literally told me he doesn't understand why I would have sex if I'm pregnant. He seemed repulsed."

"I'll punch him in the dick." Leena murmurs into her martini glass.

"Yu Leena." Jin scolds as you set the pen down on your lap.

"What?! He's a huge fucking dick suck." She says waving him off with her hand.

Both you and Jin snort loudly and he lays his head on your shoulder before hugging you tightly.

"I'm gonna miss you, princess." He whispers.

"Me too." You mumble as you wrap your arms around his.

"Shouldn't you let the madam buy the child's furniture?" Yoongi hears Maya ask over his shoulder as he scours through the furniture website.

"If her ability to pick out furniture is as bad as her clothing or her shoes, my heir will end up sleeping in a rickety old basket made out of straw and hair." He retorts as she hands him his Irish coffee.

He hears her gentle sigh and he knows it's because somehow, something he said had disappointed her.

"What's wrong, Maya?" He asks as he locks the iPad, throwing it on the other side of the couch to look up at her.

She hums undecidedly before looking down at him as he sips his coffee, "Maybe try to be nice to her. She's going to have a hard time being pregnant in this household with your wife here."

Her suggestion makes a shiver run up his spine. Just hearing the word pregnant sends him into some deep spiral.

Maya always has been kind hearted. She's always been understanding of others. Even if they don't deserve it.

Like with Sera, Maya will bust her ass to try to make the leech smile even if she gets sneers and snarky remarks in turn.

She's too pure for this world. Too amazing for this cheap lifestyle.

"I am being nice to her. She gets to move in here." He responds as he sets the coffee cup down on his marble table.

“Min Yoongi.” Maya breathes out above a whisper before closing her eyes.

He watches her brow furrow with shame and he clears his throat uncomfortably before looking around the open gallery of the mansion to try and find any reason for her to leave.

“I didn’t raise you this way. You know that.” The older woman chides as she dusts off some of the priceless paintings that line the walls beside where he sits.

He lets out a gentle snort as he leans back into the chaise lounge.

“At least someone raised me, right?” He quips to her as he looks out the bay windows.

The garden seems well tended as of late, after the last fiasco with the uneven hedges he appreciates how much work his new gardeners have put into it.

He begins to wonder what you enjoy, what your hobbies are besides getting pounded in the back of your best friends club. Do you enjoy the finer things? Like yachting or horse racing? Do you even know what they are? Just how sheltered are you?

“What do poor people like? Swap meets?” Yoongi asks as he watches the rose bushes sway in the wind.

“Yoongi.” Maya whispers dejectedly and he turns his head to her before shrugging.

“Just asking.” He murmurs as a sparrow lands on the marble bird bath beside the window.

“Why don’t you just try to get to know her? Ask her things like that without being rude.” Maya replies as she turns to him.

With a grimace, he finishes his coffee before handing the cup to her, “Why do I have to get to know her?”

“Oh my goodness.” Maya mumbles as she leaves the gallery.

The billionaire watches her leave before slowly turning back to the window to stare aimlessly for a little while longer.

He's always been so jaded, always been so absolutely fucking ruthless because if he didn't protect himself from the outside world who would?

And even if it causes rifts, he just has to be this way. Because you can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs.

The sounds of construction break him out of his thoughts. The contract must have gone through to Namjoon, if your room was already being renovated. Kira must have called and set up everything like she was supposed to.

It's a good thing she isn't just good for her tight snatch.

Standing up with a groan, he stretches high up to the ceiling. He can hear and feel his bones popping and groaning to welcome a new day in front of him.

As he steps onto the heated marble flooring of the second floor, he knows he should be getting ready for work yet instead his curiosity begins to eat at him.

What is your room starting to look like? How about the kids room?

Walking past his walk-in closet, he can see dust and wood shavings on the floor in the hallway. His first thought is to curse out the constructors and threaten them if even a single wooden shard enters his room. But, before he can even open his mouth the shrill voice of his wife enters his ears.

"MIN YOONGI!" He can feel his brain rattling around in his skull, like a cry for help. He sighs loudly, it's really not a surprise that she can be even louder than the construction right in front of him.

Turning to her, he takes in her half asleep look. Her sleeping mask is stuck to her forehead, her black hair jutting out on all sides as she narrows her big, doll-like eyes at him.

"Some people are trying to sleep!" She screeches from the entrance of her wing in the mansion.

He chuckles to himself at her disheveled state and proceeds into his closet to get ready for work.

It probably won't end at that. And, he is absolutely correct.

Peeling off his sleep shirt, his eyes meet his wife's through the mirror as she storms into the room.

"I need beauty sleep, asshole!" She yells at him and he stares at her for a fraction of a second before clicking his teeth and tilting his head.

"You don't need beauty sleep, I paid for that face, leech." He deadpans.

His body is quick to duck out of the way as she takes the nearest object to the door before lobbing it at his head.

"Did you do as I told you?" She asks, watching him grab his crisp white work shirt.

He doesn't reply, which in turn makes her repeat the same question louder with a high shrill added to her tone.

She's always been impatient and bratty. Once which was endearing to him is now like nails on a chalkboard.

"Hello?! I'm speaking to you! Answer me, asshole!" She yells as she snaps her fingers in his face.

Pressing his tongue to his cheek, he lets out a gentle snort before taking a deep inhale through his nose.

"When do I ever just do as you tell me to, Sera? When has that ever been a goal of mine?" He asks as he grabs his pinstriped tailored pants to match his shirt.

"What? So you didn't?" She asks, clearly shocked.

"Of course I didn't, what are you? Insane? Stupid? I'm a dick but I'm not heartless." He retorts.

"No! Just heartless to me!" She cries out angrily and he chuckles to himself as he grabs a tie.

"I'm sure you'll survive." He mumbles as he pulls the drawer full of his watches open. He watches them spin on their platforms before picking a black Rolex that would go nicely with his pants.

"The plan was for you to make her say that she's my surrogate! Since I'm so beautiful and so famous, she would be carrying my child instead!" Just hearing her ridiculous plan again makes him almost as uncomfortable as the first time he heard it.

In all honesty, as soon as those words left her mouth he didn't even entertain the idea. It seemed so wholly horrible and so absolutely fucking selfish. But, this is Sera we're talking about.

"That was your plan. You think I would ever force her or anyone to have to go in front of people and say their kid isn't their own? Jesus Christ. You really are a fucking leech." He spits out.

"But! But, she's going to use you for your money! She's going to ruin everything!" She screams above the incessant construction.

The sentence sends something akin to fire flaming throughout his gut.

"Well, leech, it's not like I'm not used to being used for my money. If anything you can teach her first hand what it's like to milk me like a money cow." Her mouth opens slightly, as if she's appalled by the notion.

It's then that his patience snaps like a thin twig beneath weight.

"Do you want to see my dick?" He asks briskly.

"Ew! What? No, of course not!" She yells at him as he gathers his clothes onto one arm.

"Then get the fuck out. I have to get ready for work." She stomps her foot loudly as if in protest but he brushes by her without a word back to his bedroom.

"Fucking money grubbing leech." He whispers to himself as he slams his bedroom door closed behind him.

Thursday nights were appointed for one thing in Min Yoongi's eyes. Poker.

The library which he barely ever entered as well as his wife that couldn't read more than ten words without having a seizure was always occupied on Thursdays.

Usually, the other five members of his social circle were always present but today he only had the pleasure of four of them.

"I love that Maya deals." Taehyung chuckles as he pulls the pile of poker chips in the middle of the table towards him.

Yoongi snorts gently, clamping the cigar between his teeth tighter as he stacks his chips with one hand.

"Maya, can I please have some more ice?" Namjoon asks softly as he holds up the bucket.

"Oh of course!" She says quickly as she takes the bucket from him.

Taehyung and Jimin watch her leave before slyly smirking to Yoongi as he leans back in his chair with a groan. The way they look at him makes him feel like prey in a baron forest.

"What?" He murmurs as he pulls the cigar from his mouth.

The tips of Taehyung's fingers slide over the green felt table as he lifts his glass of whisky.

"I heard something interesting about you." He replies to his older friend.

Namjoon clears his throat uncomfortably as he crosses his legs beneath the lip of the table.

"Oh yeah? What's that? Something about my board of trustees?" Yoongi asks with a laugh as he picks up his own glass.

"Not so much." Jimin murmurs as he ashes his cigar.

"Heard you got a girl pregnant." Yoongi chokes on his whisky as he hears Taehyung's smooth voice. His eyes widen and he spins his chair around to dab at his mouth.

His blood runs cold as the hotel CEO chuckles behind him. It scares the ever living shit out of him and he hates that.

"Where'd you hear that?" He asks gently, his voice audibly shaking as he turns back around.

"A little after I pulled my dick out of Yu Leena's tight ass." Jimin snickers at the admission and Yoongi closes his eyes in defeat.

"You won't say anything, right?" Namjoon asks quietly as he looks over at his best friend.

Hoseok, Yoongi's other best friend since childhood had only recently found out about you and his heir. While he was surprised, he was always loyal to the CEO and Yoongi knew he could count on his silence.

"I definitely won't. I like it when Leena comes over and if I say anything she won't let me take her to France in two weeks." The Kisung Connected CEO sighs in relief at the younger man's admission.

Maya returns with the ice and it gets quiet for a bit, just the gentle sounds of ice clinking against glass and poker chips smacking into each other resound throughout the large library.

"Leena loves her, y'know. She never shuts up about her. I feel like I know her with how much Leena tells me." Taehyung says as he rubs two poker chips together between his fingers.

This peaks his curiosity as he begins to relax into the chair once more.

"What does she say?" Yoongi asks softly and he watches as Maya smirks gently. Her motions are soft and smooth as she deals the cards.

"About Y/N? That she's really sweet and kind. She works really hard and enjoys simple things like most poor people." Humming inquisitively, he lifts his whisky glass to his lips to ponder that thought.

"Simple things? Like?" Taehyung rolls his eyes at Yoongi's question.

"Yeah. Simple things. She likes to paint and to watch romantic movies. She enjoys cooking and other poor people shit."

He begins to wonder how well you can paint. If you were any good at it.

"She's really sweet." Namjoon adds and Yoongi grimaces in his direction.

Noticing his grimace, the lawyer shrugs with a smirk.

"Is she the girl that was with Leena on her birthday?" Jimin asks and both Yoongi and Taehyung nod at the same time.

"Oh dude! She's so fucking hot! I can't believe you got to her before me!" Hearing those words roll off of his friend's tongue sets him in an uncomfortable state.

His body leans away from Jimin's as he clutches the cigar tighter between his index and middle finger.

"So she's moving in here?" Jimin asks happily.

"In two days. Yes. We have to go to the doctor and then she'll be in the mansion."

Hoseok nudges Namjoon as they watch their best friend move uncomfortably.

Yoongi loosens his tie around his neck, his face and chest begin to feel incredibly hot and flush. He can feel the sweat building on his hairline as he uncuffs his cufflinks.

"Maya." He whispers as he holds them out over the table.

Swallowing thickly, he stares down into his glass as the ice clinks against the crystal sides.

"You're lucky she's moving in. Now you'll have constant pussy." Jimin says as he scrolls through Leena's Instagram.

The concept is completely foreign to Yoongi, "She's pregnant. Why would I fuck her?"

Namjoon chuckles to himself gently as he looks at his cards, he tosses a few chips into the center of the table before looking pointedly at his best friend.

"Because man, pregnant pussy feels so much better than regular pussy. Plus, she's carrying your baby. That's fucking hot." Yoongi sneers at Jimin, the corner of his upper lip flicking upward at the notion.

"You're a fucking short little weirdo, Park Jimin." Yoongi's sentence comes out just a bit more acidic than he means it to but he doesn't apologize.

If anything the small flames of anger seem to burnish brighter as Jimin chuckles to himself. Park has always been so sure of himself, so absolutely ruthless in getting what he wants. But, you weren't his to have.

"If you aren't going to fuck her right, can I?" He asks as he tosses chips into the middle of the table.

Yoongi's hand grips into a fist, the edges of the chips he holds make uncomfortable indents into his skin as he focuses on Maya's face to calm himself down.

"Whoa. Jimin." Hoseok mumbles as Jimin laughs.

"Calm down hyung. I'm just playing with you. I'll just ask her out on a date and we'll see where it goes." Yoongi chuckles to himself.

He can't begin to understand why it bothers him so much to hear those words. Maybe it's because you're being treated flippantly or maybe it's because you were his. Or, should be his anyway. You were having his child. Doesn't that make you off limits?

But he was better than this. He was better than letting small, simple things beneath his skin.

"She won't say yes. She's pregnant with my baby." He says as he chucks his chips into the center of the table roughly.

"We'll see. If she does say yes, just know I'll treat your baby mama with a lot of respect...as I rearrange her guts with the head of my cock." Jimin and Taehyung chortle loudly as they knock their shoulders into one another.

Scoffing gently, he downs the rest of his whisky before wiping the back of his hand over his lips.

It takes all of his restraint to not get out of his chair and punch the shorter man in the face. It takes every single ounce of strength to just stay seated and look as if he's calm while on the inside he's burning bright with red hot rage.

"You watch your fucking mouth, Jimin. She's the mother of my child." He says as he points his finger over the lip of his glass at the younger man.

The laughs die down as they notice just how deadly serious he is.

"Oh, now you care about her? Seemed like she was going to be just another leech ten minutes ago." Jimin chuckles as he speaks his words and Namjoon's eyes flutter shut in defeat.

"Yeah well, if she was to be a leech. She would be my leech. Not yours. You watch your fucking mouth when you talk about the mother of my baby in this fucking house, do you understand me?" He doesn't even understand where this rage is coming from. He can't begin to process it, but he doesn't miss the smile that creeps onto Maya's face as he defends your honor.

Jimin holds his hands up with a laugh as he clenches his cigar between his teeth.

"Calm down Yoongi. I'm just fucking with you. I don't want to fuck your poor baby mama, alright?"

Namjoon sits up fast as Yoongi goes to stand up, "Let's just all relax. Calm down." He tells his best friend as he puts his hand on his shoulder.

"Get out." He says aloud as he brushes Namjoon's hand off his shoulder.

Jimin looks up at Yoongi as Maya gently sets the cards down on the felt table.

"Oh Yoongi. Come on, I was fucking around." He says half heartedly.

"I'm done for the night. Get the fuck out." He burns his cigar out before opening up the library doors.

Everyone stands and thanks Maya softly before heading out one by one. Yoongi catches Jimin by the shoulder as he leaves last.

His hand clasps roughly around his skin and Jimin cringes at the sharp pain, "You keep her fucking name out of your goddamn mouth. Do you understand me? Don't you dare ever disrespect her in this household again. Or, I'll release those pictures of you at your bachelor party to Dispatch. You keep your dick away from where it doesn't belong in this house."

The threat sends Jimin's eyes widening a fraction before he collects his composure, "I got it. Relax." He says before pulling his shoulder away and patting the older man's arm.

Taking a deep breath, he looks around the library before meeting Maya's gaze as she clears the cards off of the poker table.

"I'm sorry you had to hear that nasty stuff." He apologizes and her nose wrinkles sweetly as she smiles.

"Now that, that is how I raised you." He smirks gently at her praise before pocketing his hands and looking down at the floor.

"Can you order some paint brushes and canvas?" He asks softly.

"Oh of course! For you? You don't paint." Maya asks, her voice is riddled with confusion as she stacks the poker chips back in the oak box.

"No, I don't but Y/N does." He mumbles and Maya smiles widely before nodding.

"Of course I'll order her some painting materials! That's a great idea, Yoongs!" Seeing her, the woman who has raised him, get so excited about it makes him feel almost drunk off of delight.

But, then he gets brought down to Earth once more as he hears his wife giggle from the kitchen.

"Thanks, Maya." He mumbles as he sets off to his wing of the mansion. He eyes Hoseok chatting up his wife as they both lean against the bar and he snorts to himself in disbelief. At least someone would be getting laid tonight.

The problem with having a wife that sees other people is just how loud sex can get when you're not involved.

At one point Yoongi craved to be in Hoseok's position. He was dying to get in between Sera's legs albeit she was annoying and bratty since they were kids. He had a genuinely real crush on her that dissolved into distaste and pure hatred in a matter of moments.

Even across the whole mansion, he can hear her getting fucked like there's no tomorrow and he grimaces while turning to the window as he lays in bed.

"Music up to ninety percent." He calls out in the room and the volume of the classical piano piece rises quickly to drown out the feral noises of sex from the other wing in the mansion.

Pulling out his phone, he begins to scroll through Instagram before finding Leena's page. There were so many posts with just you and her or you, her and Seokjin. Your smile was pretty. He takes into account that you haven't really smiled around him all that much but he can understand why.

He can remember your giggle too, when you were in Namjoon's office. It was soft and gentle, like hummingbird wings. The noise instantly made him relax and he can remember how his eyes fluttered shut just upon hearing it.

You weren't a bad person. You weren't trying to trap him-- he could see it on your face when you had lunch. You were genuinely mortified. So fucking frightened. And, even though he doesn't know you, you don't deserve that.

You don't deserve to be terrified of him or anyone.

He can see in most of these pictures, you're wearing borrowed things. The Chanel, the Balenciaga, the Gucci-- it was all Leenas and none of it was your own.

How fucking depressing must that be? Did Leena make you wear her clothes or did you ask her to borrow some in order to not feel poor and unworthy around others?

Sighing gently, he presses his face deeper into the pillow as he continues to scroll.

Maybe he shouldn't treat you like another Sera. But, he doesn't trust a single person. He's learned to lock his heart away in an iron cage after Sera so brutally stepped on him.

He's not sure if he could ever truly open up to someone else that isn't the woman who raised him.

Next Chapter --->

Third Wheeling Taglist- @wickizer, @imluckybitches, @slothykreuger, @claireelise19, @ggukkieland, @rspbrryy, @iv-bts, @bambuzlee, @chanelbts, @mxxngxdss, @bluewhale52, @milesjeon11, @diamonddia-mond, @vinylphwoar, @yxnxxli, @hubbytaehyung, @140503at-dawn, @bts-7beauts, @jadeblackwoll, @sunshiine-hobii, @creatorspalace, @eclectically-esoteric, @nikkiordonez12, @kaitswrld, @skamlover200, @sevgilove98, @kooeuphoria, @jikooksgirl19, @hobbledehoy26, @singular-itae, @dchimminie, @lowlifeoeuvre, @laabellaavitaa21, @bloopbloopb, @pjmcth, @softysuho, @codeinbelle, @jaiuneamesolitaiire, @betysotelo18, @jeonmisha, @iwanttohitmyself, @ayyyocee, @neverthefirstchoice, @itsbangtanoclock, @little7bitchh, @veryuniquenamegoeshere, @deathkat657, @firstlovesuga-93, @namjoonia, @paperpurple, @muzikabijou, @liebeoppa, @veronawrites, @kleff03, @ruinsofangels, @brightwingr5, @leekanchol, @rkivemagic, @ithinkileftmycoatoutside, @melaninkpops, @y00ngisbabygirl, @ungodlyjoon, @prochnost513, @dunixxd, @athenakyle, @igotnotype, @chxmachxps, @tinymintyoongi, @vangameren-blog, @alpaca1612, @ohcarolinamin, @thegreatestsushi, @jooniebugg, @eltrain80, @btsmylife21, @deeepvibes

Some people couldn’t be tagged, I’m so sorry about that!

#third wheeling #thebtswritersclub #btscreatorscorner #btswritingcafe #ficswithluv #ceo!yoongi #ceo!au #yoongi x reader #yoong x you

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whetstonefires · 1 year ago

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#???? #most of the extras are about how teen wangxian was obsessed w each other lmao

this was such an extreme statement i had to go read all the extras i hadn't read yet in case they really were about that.

the extras i have cover:

1) couple in a row about post-canon life; wwx attends a fantastically shitty Lan party (nothing like a LAN party) etc

2) incense burner shared dreams; cottagecore fantasy and rape fantasy

3) deeply underrated villain interlude where the Tingshan He are sacrificed to Xue Yang's experiments to the last child by a Jin Guangyao who's very cheerful about doing this on spurious grounds for political reasons; Jin Guangshan says shitty things about jgy's mom. Song Zichen and Xiao Xingchen show up. Jin Guangyao explains why contrary to popular wisdom it's better to pick a fight with a crook than a gentleman because the lower classes can be murdered with impunity.

4) Incense burner 2. We start out with a cute flashback about how lwj started keeping the bunnies; teen wangxian data commences but only regards lwj. mildly uncomfortable porn. we are somewhat puzzlingly informed several times that wwx had a fairly fat ass in his original body, apparently as setup for dubcon spanking fetish segment.

5) Wei Wuxian comes home via window. Marital sex including mild exhibitionism re: sex noises, usual consent play, cockwarming, a bath. Discussion of lwj's critique style; companionate homework-marking segment, sleepy cuddles.

6) Qin household fierce corpse case; still postcanon period. Wei Wuxian's habit of cold-reading people and basing his decisions on his surmises and being correct plays a starring role here, as does his tendency to play teacher and his tendency to tell outrageous lies, especially to liars. Lan Wangji and Lan Sizhui turn out to be acutely conscious of wwx's status of 'son of a servant' as something used against him. Lan Wangji is mistaken for a virgin. Sizhui's having picked up some Jiang moves is detected by sound alone and disparaged as bad for his cultivation; for some reason him learning Wen moves from Wen Ning is fine though.

7) Bai residence case, still post-canon

8) Finally teen Wei Wuxian! He is, in fact, reminded of Lan Zhan by eating watermelon. Jiang Cheng thinks this is weird; he does not suggest it is habitual. Wei Wuxian promises he could drive Lan Wangji insane in a month if they shared a room and boasts he could beat him in a fight. -Jiang Yanli asks who he's talking about; evidently Wei Wuxian hasn't mentioned Lan Wangji to her until now. Jiang Cheng points out Lan Wangji doesn't think they're friends and Wei Wuxian says if that's so, he'll annoy him until he changes his mind. Agrees when asked that Lan Wangji is good-looking. Jiang Yanli tells him to use himself as a yardstick and he says Lan Wangji is a tiiiiiiny bit better-looking than him. - Statement that Wei Wuxian would never go back to Cloud Recesses to visit Lan Wangji. Further argument about whether Lan Wangji would even want to visit him in Yunmeng. - Then Madam Yu catches them slacking, they get yelled at for being shirtless in front of Jiang Yanli. Wei Wuxian is briefly whipped as the assumed ringleader of shirking and toplessness but then Jiang Yanli performs a distraction tactic with watermelon and the boys abscond. Jiang Yanli is pinched and yelled at for eating too much. - Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian engage in an intense water fight with shidi audience until Wei Wuxian gets hungry and proposes scrumping lotus pods since they can't go home without being beaten. We're told about their habit of stealing for fun around Yunmeng knowing Jiang Fengmian will make it good. Wei Wuxian mumbles about treating someone to lotus pods while stealing them; this may be Lan Wangji. - There is a lotus pod stealing water ghoul, a shy dead child, whom Wei Wuxian catches bare-handed but it turns out the old man they like to steal pods from who beats them if they're caught is keeping it around on purpose, as company and a sort of undead boat engine. Wei Wuxian gets beaten some more; his shidi besides Jiang Cheng heap praise on him as explanation for why he's the one who gets hit all the time instead of anybody else until Jiang Cheng threatens to sink the boat. - Some young women come by on another boat, turn out to have left the watermelon from earlier as a gift; Wei Wuxian starts a wave of throwing the stolen lotus seeds into their boat as a thank-you gift and dispenses related flirting advice. Jiang Cheng seethes.

- Wei Wuxian brings Lan Wangji up a second time, reflecting on how as previously mentioned he turned down the invitation and stating someday he'll drag him there and get him involved in petty theft, mwahahaha. Jiang Cheng, sulkily eating lotus seeds, is condemned to Forever Alone. - Meanwhile, in the Cloud Recesses, Lan Wangji is making conversation with Lan Xichen about lotus pods while they do handstands. Rabbits visit. A servant provides chilled watermelon pieces on a jade plate. The edibility of fried watermelon rind is raised. - The next day Lan Wangji goes into town and has the belated realization that his avoidance of other people is reciprocated. Girls peek at him and giggle. He is looking for lotus pods. He helps an old lady who gave him directions, walks a couple of miles, stares at dirty toddlers, gets rained on, encounters a man who has been trampled by an ox surrounded by worried neighbors and lifts a fallen shed four men were struggling with, one-handed, and stands there holding it up. - There's a ghost inside. It's mostly harmless and he only has the tools for violence with him so he leaves it alone, glaring it into not stealing heat from any of the people taking shelter. - He reaches the lotus lake hours late, when it's long closed, sopping wet and bedraggled, and gets laughed at for believing having the stems on changes the flavor of the lotus seeds. The lady in charge of the lake, who is not the owner, takes pity on him. - Lan Wangji obtained the pods with the stems, was happy, presumably ate some, and left the rest as an informal (due to lack of a tablet) but clearly intended offering for his mother. Lan Xichen, who apparently goes to the gentian house to practice his music, does not steal one, but he thinks about it.

glitch recurred when i continued, will try again in reblog

drives me crazy when the mdzs fandom still doesn’t understand wwx is just as obsessed with lwj as lwj was with him. dare i say moreso. how am i STILL coming across fics/meta where wwx is dating people after having met lwj. any attempted relationship would end after 2 hours cause he’s incapable of going 15 minutes without talking or thinking about lwj. even if he actually tried going on a date it would be like. he’d sit down sigh and his date would ask what he was thinking about and he’d say i invited lan zhan here last week but he rejected me :(((((( and i was so sincere :((((( and then they order food he’d start smiling to himself and they’d be like what’s up and he’d be like “ahahaha i’m imagining trying to get lan zhan to eat this dish!!” they walk around outside and he grabs a cute little trinket from a market stall and the date is like oh :)) and wwx would be like this is so silly and cute i’m gonna hide it in lan zhan’s bag and see his reaction. pre meeting lwj maybe there is a slim chance but after he sees that :| face it’s over for anyone else

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bloody-bee-tea · 4 years ago

Text

A story in three parts

Interlude

First part

I have an easy plan, I said. I have it all figured out, I said. Three parts, dusted and done, no problem at all, I said.

I think not, this story said, and proceeded to throw some unnecessary relationship drama at me.

This chapter is very NieLan heavy. Content warning for in-book level of violence.

Nie Mingjue is humming under his breath as he prepares dinner. It’s Jiang Cheng’s favourite, and while Lan Xichen had sent him a knowing look when he saw what Nie Mingjue was making, Nie Mingjue didn’t pay him any attention.

He is not spoiling Jiang Cheng. At least not since the bruises and cuts on his face have faded.

This is just because Madam Yu summoned Jiang Cheng to Lotus Pier and Nie Mingjue knows that such summons always leave Jiang Cheng unsettled and upset and he wants to do something nice for him.

It has nothing to do with spoiling him, Lan Xichen’s glances be damned.

“Get out of my kitchen if you keep looking at me like that,” Nie Mingjue eventually grumbles under his breath and it makes Lan Xichen laugh before he darts over to press a kiss to Nie Mingjue’s cheek and then he leaves.

Finally Nie Mingjue can concentrate on making their dinner.

He’s mostly done by the time his phone rings and when he sees that it’s Nie Huaisang, Nie Mingjue quickly wipes his hands before he accepts the call.

“Di-di,” he warmly says, but he tenses when he isn’t met with an answering “Da-ge”.

Something must be wrong then.

“What is it?” Nie Mingjue asks, using the tone that used to make his people quiver with fear usually, but Nie Huaisang is silent for a moment longer before he finally speaks.

“Lotus Pier is burning,” he then says and Nie Mingjue’s entire body goes cold even as his mind struggles to understand the words.

“No, it’s fine, Wanyin went there today,” he tries, but his voice is already trembling, his body clearly understanding what Nie Huaisang’s words mean even if his mind is still struggling with it.

“Da-ge, it’s burning. No one came out, there are said to be no survivors.”

“Who?” Nie Mingjue demands to know, because this is easier to think about than the fact that there are no survivors. He doesn’t pay attention to the sick feeling in his stomach. “Who did this?” he asks, even though he damn well knows who did this.

“The Wens,” Nie Huaisang predictably says and Nie Mingjue has to grab for the counter so he doesn’t collapse right then and there.

The Wens took his father and now they took his heart.

“He could have made it out,” Nie Mingjue says, his voice shaking but Nie Huaisang is relentless.

“They would have captured him if he did, and they would be bragging about it, heir or not. They say no one survived. And they were all there. They—” Nie Huaisang winces on the other end, but Nie Mingjue snaps at him to speak.

He needs to hear this.

“They strung up Jiang Fengmian and Madam Yu,” Nie Huaisang eventually whispers and Nie Mingjue closes his eyes at that.

He never respected them as parents, but they were formidable fighters and leaders and to hear that they are being treated like this is wrong.

“If they had Wanyin they would do the same to him,” Nie Mingjue tries.

“If he survived the initial attack he would be trying to get them down,” Nie Huaisang shoots back and Nie Mingjue knows he’s right.

Jiang Cheng never liked his parents much, but they are his parents. He wouldn’t allow this.

“Huaisang,” Nie Mingjue whispers, desperate beyond anything he knows, but Nie Huaisang doesn’t have any comforting words for him.

There is no comfort if his heart is gone.

“I have people here, keeping an eye on things. If he somehow made it out, or if he will make it out later, they will know and they will get him, but--it’s not looking good,” Nie Huaisang whispers and it’s incomprehensible to Nie Mingjue what just happened.

The entire Jiang Clan, including Wei Wuxian, wiped out just like that, in one fell swoop.

“He survived,” Nie Mingjue says, because he cannot believe anything else, because his heart cannot simply be taken from him as easy as that.

It’s not right.

“I’m sorry, da-ge,” Nie Huaisang gives back and the fact that he’s not even arguing with Nie Mingjue, that he’s so damn sure that everyone is dead, tells Nie Mingjue just how serious this is. “You should go to the Cloud Recesses,” Nie Huaisang suddenly says. “I have our side handled and the Jins are unlikely to be attacked but the Cloud Recesses—” he trails off there, but Nie Mingjue knows what he wants to say.

The Lans are not weak and Lan Qiren and Lan Wangji are doing a great job at leading their Clan, but ever since Lan Xichen put down his sword they have changed. They are not quite as ruthless anymore, not as dangerous and everyone knows it.

If the Wens want to go against another Clan as well, the Lans are the obvious choice. And the Wens are the most powerhungry Clan Nie Mingjue knows.

“Understood,” Nie Mingjue forces out and then he hangs up on Nie Huaisang.

This he can do. Protecting the Cloud Recesses means being in action and that is something Nie Mingjue knows how to do. There will be time to think about the rest later.

“What’s wrong?” Lan Xichen suddenly asks, having made his way back to the kitchen, clearly alerted by Nie Mingjue’s tone. “You sounded upset.”

Nie Mingjue doesn’t want to say it; if he says it, it might be real after all, but he has to. No matter what it will do to Lan Xichen. He deserves to know.

“That was Huaisang,” Nie Mingjue starts with.

“Is he alright?” Lan Xichen asks immediately and Nie Mingjue nods at that.

“It’s Wanyin,” he whispers and watches as Lan Xichen’s face goes pale. “Lotus Pier is burning. The Wens attacked it. Huaisang says there are no survivors.”

Nie Mingjue would love to add that Huaisang is probably wrong, that he must have missed something, but Nie Mingjue didn’t transfer the role of leader over to Nie Huaisang because he misses things.

If he says there are no survivors then there are none. Nie Huaisang’s intel is always impeccable even if Nie Mingjue does not want to believe it. And by the gods, does he not want to.

“No,” Lan Xichen whispers and when he staggers Nie Mingjue rushes forward to pull him into his arms.

He isn’t sure who of them is shaking—or if maybe they both are—but they are definitely both clinging to the other.

“Our heart is not dead,” Lan Xichen mutters eventually and Nie Mingjue longs to agree with him but he’s not sure he can.

He made it a point a long time ago to never lie to Lan Xichen and he can’t force the words that would soothe him past his lips.

The silence weighs heavy on them but eventually Lan Xichen pushes Nie Mingjue away.

“Mingjue, our heart is not dead,” he says, with more vehemence, but Nie Mingjue presses his lips together.

“Tell me that he is not,” Lan Xichen begs him, fisting his hands in Nie Mingjue’s shirt and Nie Mingjue covers them, but he can’t find his words.

Wen Ruohan killed his father who was a much more accomplished fighter than Jiang Cheng was and there is no way Jiang Cheng could have survived if Wen Ruohan or even Wen Xu went to Lotus Pier. There might be a chance that he managed to outwit Wen Chao, but if it was him who went to burn it down, then Wen Zhuliu was surely by his side and he is just as dangerous as Wen Ruohan and not just because of his special ability.

Nie Mingjue fought him once, just once, and he can still feel his bones rattling from his hits, even though Wen Zhuliu never managed to touch him long enough to burn his core.

“Huaisang says the Cloud Recesses are next,” Nie Mingjue says eventually, not answering Lan Xichen and going by the hard glare in his eyes he noticed.

“How can you be this unaffected if our heart—if he’s—” Lan Xichen tries to say, but he can’t even bring the words past his lips.

Nie Mingjue wants to yell at him that he’s far from unaffected, that he couldn’t ever be anything but completely and entirely devastated just thinking about Jiang Cheng being dead, but then Lan Xichen cradles his face in his hands and when he brushes his thumbs over Nie Mingjue’s cheeks, he realizes that he’s crying.

“My soul,” Lan Xichen brokenly whispers and when his face crumbles Nie Mingjue’s heart shatters right with it.

He can’t be dead. Jiang Cheng cannot be dead. He promised to not leave them alone, to stay away from his family and the business, to be safe and happy with them, and he promised it.

He cannot be dead. It’s not possible. Nie Mingjue wouldn’t know what to do if he is.

“The Cloud Recesses,” Nie Mingjue eventually croaks out, because he can’t think about this.

If he thinks about it, he’ll break and then he will be useless. And there is still something to do.

“Okay,” Lan Xichen agrees, clearly only humoring Nie Mingjue, but he’s thankful for it anyway.

Lan Xichen steps away from Nie Mingjue—something he can barely stomach, because if he steps away Nie Mingjue can no longer touch him, can no longer keep him close to protect him—but then he stops.

“It wasn’t a simultaneous attack,” Lan Xichen slowly says, a frown on his face. “They went to Lotus Pier first and then they’ll move to the Cloud Recesses,” he muses and then his face goes hard. “They will be there.”

Before Nie Mingjue can say anything to him, Lan Xichen leaves the kitchen, probably to retrieve Shuoyue, but when he comes back, Nie Mingjue freezes. Lan Xichen has Shuoyue at his side, but he holds Liebing in his hands.

“My light,” Nie Mingjue croaks, because Lan Xichen promised him to never use Liebing again.

Lan Xichen is deadly with Shuoyue; he’s downright catastrophically destructive with Liebing.

“They went to Lotus Pier first,” Lan Xichen says again and his voice is cold and detached.

Nie Mingjue hoped to never have to hear him sound like that again.

“The same people who—who did that are going to the Cloud Recesses. I will not—they have to die,” Lan Xichen tells him and Nie Mingjue agrees, of course he does, no one who dared to lay a hand on Jiang Cheng is allowed to continue living, but he never wanted this.

It was a struggle to get Lan Xichen away from the brink the first time and Nie Mingjue holds no illusions that he only managed it because of Jiang Cheng and if their heart is really gone, Nie Mingjue is going to lose Lan Xichen as well.

“They have to die, Mingjue,” Lan Xichen repeats, clearly daring Nie Mingjue to disagree, to start a fight over this, but Nie Mingjue can’t.

He wants them dead as well and his heart is bleeding. There’s nothing he can argue about.

“I’ll get Baxia,” he only says, leaving Lan Xichen in the kitchen as he retrieves his own weapon.

Baxia is singing in his hands, clearly excited to be used again after being discarded for so long, and Nie Mingjue takes a deep breath as he promises her blood.

“Let’s go,” he says to Lan Xichen when he comes back, but Lan Xichen is already impatiently waiting for him.

“I wrote Wangji, they should be ready,” he informs him and Nie Mingjue nods, even though he’s reasonably sure that Nie Huaisang informed them already.

Their trip to the Cloud Recesses is quiet; neither of them feel like talking, both stewing in their own thoughts. Not a word passes between them when they get to the first buildings of the Cloud Recesses and see them ablaze in flames, but whenever they spot a Wen, they move flawlessly together, and Shuoyue and Baxia sing as they are drenched in blood.

It doesn’t take them long to fight their way through to where they suspect Lan Qiren and Lan Wangji to be and they are proven right when they walk in on an intense stare down between Lan Qiren, Lan Wangji, Wen Xu, Wen Zhuliu and Wen Chao.

Nie Mingjue is kind of glad that they are not fighting already, because he itches to kill them himself.

“I see you are so weak that you need help from retired fighters?” Wen Chao snarls and Nie Mingjue tightens his grip on Baxia.

Lan Xichen appears to be completely calm at his side, his stance open and relaxed, Shuoyue resting easily in his hand, already sheathed again, while Liebing is tucked into his belt and Nie Mingjue worries.

He can tell that Lan Xichen is on the brink of losing it, of giving in to the bloodlust completely, and he takes a step closer to Lan Xichen.

“Aren’t you missing someone?” Wen Chao says as he narrows his eyes at them, a deranged smile passing over his face. “I seem to remember you running around with a third useless person,” he says and then pretends that he has to think for a moment.

“Oh, right, I forgot. It was the Jiang boy, right? Ups,” Wen Chao laughs and slaps his thigh, clearly thinking himself to be hilarious. “He will no longer be around,” he tells them once he calmed down and Nie Mingjue clenches his teeth.

“Shut up,” Wen Xu says with an eyeroll, but he seems pleased too and Nie Mingjue is going to kill them, no questions asked.

“If it makes you feel better, he was stubbornly defiant, right until the end,” Wen Chao conversationally says. “At least until I brought the whip out. Couldn’t stay all stoic then.”

Lan Xichen has turned to complete stone at Nie Mingjue’s side, while Nie Mingjue is boiling with rage.

“Shut up,” he snaps, unable to help himself, but of course that only spurs Wen Chao on.

“He did well for the first hit, but when I was done, he was barely able to scream anymore, could only whisper to beg me to spare his life. I’d say you should give him a proper burial, but with how he looked, I’d advise for a closed casket.”

Wen Chao leans forward, clearly not realizing that he’s this close to being painfully murdered himself and he whispers “And that was before Wen Zhuliu got his hands on him.”

Nie Mingjue makes a pained noise at that, because he has seen Wen Zhuliu in action, has seen what his special power does to the people, and Nie Mingjue is going to lose his mind just thinking about the fact that Jiang Cheng might had to live through that.

“Oh yeah, that was fun,” Wen Xu agrees and Nie Mingjue turns his eyes on him before he looks at Wen Zhuliu, who seems as stoic as ever.

“You’re dead,” Lan Xichen says, his voice ice-cold, and before Nie Mingjue can blink Lan Xichen moves.

He’s just a blur for a moment, at least right until there’s a sickening crunch as a breath is punched out of Wen Chao. Lan Xichen rammed his sword into his chest, not even bothering to unsheathe it; he just plunged Shuoyue in there, relying on pure, blunt force to make his way right through Wen Chao’s ribs.

It’s not a painless death, that’s for sure.

Wen Xu and Wen Zhuliu are still trying to understand what is happening by the time Nie Mingjue moves and before they can even move a muscle, Baxia swings in a wide arc, followed by two heads.

Their bodies make a satisfying sound as they drop to the ground and Lan Xichen kicks Wen Chao in the stomach to get his corpse off his sword.

“Brother,” Lan Wangji says from behind them, but Lan Xichen only has eyes for the dead man before him.

“My light,” Nie Mingjue tries and steps closer to Lan Xichen, Baxia still dripping blood to the ground, just like Shuoyue.

“He’s not dead,” Lan Xichen finally says, not taking his eyes off Wen Chao, and Nie Mingjue takes in a shuddering breath.

If even half of what Wen Chao said is true, it would be a kindness if Jiang Cheng were dead and Nie Mingjue hates himself a little bit for even thinking that, but some nights he still has nightmares about the blood curdling screams of his father’s men who had the misfortune to get too close to Wen Zhuliu.

He does not want Jiang Cheng to experience that kind of pain.

“I trust you can handle the rest here?” Lan Xichen demands to know suddenly, slightly turning towards his family and when Lan Qiren nods with a sad look on his face, Lan Xichen walks away, Shuoyue dripping a bloody trail behind him.

Lan Qiren waits until Lan Xichen is out of earshot before he turns to Nie Mingjue.

“I’m sorry for your loss,” he formally says, but Nie Mingjue can see the grief in his eyes.

Lan Qiren always did like Jiang Cheng.

“Thank you,” Nie Mingjue presses out and then bows slightly to Lan Qiren. “I’ll do my best to bring him back,” he promises him, aware that he already failed by losing Lan Xichen to the bloodlust yet again, but Lan Qiren only reaches out to squeeze his hand.

“He will return for you,” Lan Qiren says as if there couldn’t be a moment of doubt about that and Nie Mingjue does not have the heart to tell him differently.

Nie Mingjue will not be enough; they only got Lan Xichen back last time because of Jiang Cheng and if he’s dead then Nie Mingjue doubts that there is anyone else out there that will manage the impossible like Jiang Cheng did.

Still, Nie Mingjue nods jerkily and then walks away, trusting Lan Wangji and Lan Qiren to have the affairs of the Cloud Recesses handled, now that the Wen brothers and their faithful dog are dead.

He doesn’t have to be a genius to know where Lan Xichen has gone to and so Nie Mingjue makes his way to Lotus Pier.

Or rather what’s left of it.

Nie Huaisang did a great job of cleaning up after Wen Chao and Wen Xu—dead Wens almost as numerous on the ground as the Jiangs—but of course there was nothing he could do to save the place.

Lotus Pier is just a smouldering ruin at this point and Nie Mingjue’s heart bleeds when he sees it.

Lan Xichen is standing at the entrance of Lotus Pier, simply staring inside and Nie Mingjue steps up next to him.

“There’s no body,” Lan Xichen says. “Madam Yu and Jiang Fengmian have been found, but there is no sign of Jiang Cheng or his siblings,” Lan Xichen says and Nie Mingjue closes his eyes at that.

It’s a relief—of course it is, because it means there’s still hope—but it’s also a curse, because Lan Xichen will not let this go if there’s no body to be found.

“Xichen,” Nie Mingjue tries, but he falls silent when Lan Xichen whirls around to him.

“No,” he hisses. “There is no body, that means he’s not dead. It’s as simple as that.”

Nie Mingjue clenches his teeth, because the throb of hope in his chest is dangerous, but he nods anyway.

“Okay,” he whispers and prays to all the gods he knows and doesn’t believe in that Lan Xichen doesn’t break when they do find a body.

That he doesn’t break, either.

~*~*~

Life without their heart is different and much more difficult than it has any right to be.

It almost feels like Lan Xichen and Nie Mingjue are out of tune, like they no longer know how to be just the two of them with the knowledge that Jiang Cheng will not come home to them after work.

Nie Huaisang keeps them updated about Lotus Pier, and he of course has people out looking for the Jiang siblings, but every time he reports back to them it’s with the same news.

They didn’t find a hair of the three.

Lan Xichen always only just nods at that, because it still means there’s no body; it still means there is hope but Nie Mingjue is steadily losing that hope.

The longer Jiang Cheng stays missing the worse his prospect looks. The only ray of hope is that it doesn’t seem like Wen Ruohan got his hands on Jiang Cheng, because he’d be sure to boast about catching him.

Lan Xichen goes out almost every night now; Nie Mingjue doesn’t want to ask how he manages to appear fresh and rested at work, because he fears he won’t like the answer. Especially since he himself is very much not fresh and rested at work, seeing as he accompanies Lan Xichen on his trips, mostly to keep an eye on him.

He doesn’t use Baxia more than he has to, but it’s still too much for his liking, especially since he left this life behind. But Lan Xichen is adamant on going out, adamant that he has to find Jiang Cheng and kill every Wen that crosses his path and Nie Mingjue doesn’t have the heart to tell him not to.

He understands the urge to go out and fight against those that took their heart away from them, even as he tries to keep it in check as best as he can.

It’s enough if one of them loses themselves to the bloodlust again.

But what’s surprisingly more difficult than watching Lan Xichen succumb to the bloodlust again is living without Jiang Cheng there with them.

It’s the small things that trip Nie Mingjue up; the fact that no one will be coming home at five, like clockwork, or that there is no humming from the bathroom.

Nie Mingjue can’t even think about making the food he wanted to make for Jiang Cheng on that fateful day, and just the thought makes his stomach turn.

The one time Lan Xichen suggested Jiang Cheng’s favourite as their dinner, Nie Mingjue screamed for a whole five minutes at Lan Xichen before he walked out on him.

They didn’t sleep in the same bed that night.

And that’s something else that Nie Mingjue finds increasingly difficult: sleeping in the same bed.

Not because he doesn’t love Lan Xichen anymore, but because there is a huge gap between them now, a gap where Jiang Cheng used to be.

Lan Xichen and Nie Mingjue no longer know how to fit together, it seems, because Jiang Cheng was always in the middle, and they both cuddled up to him. On the rare nights that they do have time to cuddle now, Nie Mingjue finds himself thinking that Lan Xichen doesn’t fit into his arms like Jiang Cheng used to, that he’s too tall, too muscular, too tense, to ever give the impression that it could be Jiang Cheng and Nie Mingjue doesn’t know what to do with that.

Some nights it’s easier to simply not cuddle at all. At least like that Nie Mingjue’s heart doesn’t continuously break.

~*~*~

Months pass like that, with little to no change, and Nie Mingjue feels exhausted down to his bones. Lan Xichen still insists on going out most nights, and as soon as they step out of their apartment he becomes Zewu-Jun.

Nie Mingjue thinks he can count himself lucky that Lan Xichen is able to shed that part of himself at the door, because at home he is still Lan Xichen, though a few of his more cruel streaks find their way into their everyday life as well.

Nie Mingjue prays to all the gods he knows that Lan Xichen at least remembers to keep up appearances at work, though he’s not sure how well Lan Xichen manages that because he gets increasingly short-tempered and snappish.

There are no news of Jiang Cheng or his siblings, and Nie Mingjue knows the odds of ever seeing him alive and well again, especially in their line of work and after this much time.

Nie Huaisang still keeps an eye out, more as a favour to Lan Xichen than out of any real hope and with every new update that tells them no news at all, Nie Mingjue grows more resigned.

They still keep Jiang Cheng’s things as if he would come in through the door any moment now, and Nie Mingjue doesn’t know if it’s hurting them more than it helps, but he can’t bring himself to pack all of Jiang Cheng’s things up.

Not even to mention that Lan Xichen would never forgive him if he should do it, and so Nie Mingjue endures every stab of pain he gets when he looks at Jiang Cheng’s things. His favourite hoodie thrown over the couch as if Jiang Cheng will come back to pick it up and slide it over his head every moment, no matter that it has long ago stopped smelling like Jiang Cheng.

His toiletries are still in the bathroom, as if he will ever have need for a tooth-brush and shampoo again. Jiang Cheng’s pyjama are still in the middle of the bed, as if he could materialize into them at any moment and be sandwiched in the middle, like he should be.

Nie Mingjue feels like crying every time he notices one of these small things, but he also can’t bring himself to throw any of them out.

They are all he and Lan Xichen have left of Jiang Cheng after all. Some days Nie Mingjue thinks that these things are also the only thing that keep Lan Xichen at his side.

But the weeks drag on like this and with every passing day it feels like Nie Mingjue is losing more and more of Lan Xichen, as if not even the ghost of Jiang Cheng is enough to keep the bloodlust at bay.

It feels like it did before they found Jiang Cheng; there’s more and more of the cruel Zewu-Jun and less and less of Lan Xichen to be found and Nie Mingjue doesn’t know if he can do this again.

If he can survive losing Lan Xichen so shortly after Jiang Cheng.

Nie Mingjue has to admit that the answer is a very resounding no, when the days drag on and he loses a little bit more of Lan Xichen every time they go out, until it feels like there’s nothing left for Nie Mingjue to lose anymore.

Nie Mingjue doesn’t want to say anything, doesn’t want to face that particular fight but everyone has their breaking point, after all and Nie Mingjue’s comes with a broken mug.

He doesn’t mean to—of course he doesn’t mean to—but when he puts the dishes away, he takes Jiang Cheng’s favourite mug out, so that it doesn’t get buried behind dozens of others.

Seeing the mug brings Nie Mingjue a fair amount of pain, but not seeing it might even be worse, so he intends to put it at the very front of the row, like he always does. It used to stand there when Jiang Cheng was still around because he was using it daily, and Nie Mingjue is not about to change that.

Everything is going well, like it should be, until Nie Mingjue reaches out for the mug to put it back as well. He doesn’t even know how it happens; he hasn’t dropped anything in ages, but one moment the mug is standing innocently on the counter and the next it’s falling.

Nie Mingjue has good reflexes—he proves that time and time again when he goes out with Lan Xichen and protects his back—but he can do nothing but stare as the mug falls.

He jerks when it hits the ground, instantly shattering into way too many pieces and Nie Mingjue can’t tear his eyes away from it.

He’s only barely aware that Lan Xichen comes into the kitchen, no doubt alerted by the noise but Nie Mingjue definitely notices when Lan Xichen freezes.

“What did you do?” Lan Xichen hisses, his eyes just as glued to the broken mug as Nie Mingjue’s, and it’s only his hostile voice that makes Nie Mingjue look away from it.

“It was an accident,” he whispers, fighting back the tears that are stinging at his eyes.

It was a puppy shaped mug and Jiang Cheng liked to look at it more than he actually liked drinking out of it. He had a habit of filling it up with coffee or tea and then simply forgetting it, more content to have the mug be around than anything else and Nie Mingjue cannot believe that he broke it.

“What is he going to do when he comes back?” Lan Xichen demands to know and Nie Mingjue feels weary down to his bones.

“He’s not coming back,” Nie Mingjue whispers, because it’s been almost a year now and there is not even a single clue about Jiang Cheng’s whereabouts.

“He is not dead,” Lan Xichen says, for what feels like the millionth time and Nie Mingjue isn’t strong enough to have this conversation again.

So he simply turns around and walks away from Lan Xichen, who seems unwilling to just let him leave.

“Do you even care about him? Or did you only love him for what he did for us?” Lan Xichen wants to know, his voice bordering on cruel and Nie Mingjue stops dead in his tracks.

It feels like Lan Xichen slapped him and Nie Mingjue feels cold all over. Nie Mingjue owes Jiang Cheng a life-dept for what he did for them—for what he did for Lan Xichen—but he loves him for a million different reasons.

And Lan Xichen should know that.

“Do you care about me?” Nie Mingjue gives the question back, but he can’t quite bring himself to turn around and look at Lan Xichen.

Nie Mingjue thinks he knows what the answer to that question is, and he’s not ready to see it on Lan Xichen’s face.

“Or did he replace me so thoroughly in your heart that I no longer matter to you?”

“Mingjue,” Lan Xichen whispers and Nie Mingjue is honestly surprised to hear the pain in Lan Xichen’s voice.

It gives him hope, for a short moment, but then Lan Xichen falls silent again and Nie Mingjue’s heart sinks to the bottom of his stomach.

“I see,” he presses out, and then continues to walk away from Lan Xichen.

He doesn’t call him back and Nie Mingjue is not about to give him any more chances, at least not today, and so Nie Mingjue finds himself on the street in mere minutes.

He didn’t take Baxia—barely remembered to put on shoes at all—and without the usual goal of finding and killing some Wens, there’s only one real place Nie Mingjue can go to.

Nie Huaisang does not seem surprised to see him at all, but his eyes do widen when he takes in Nie Mingjue’s appearance.

“What happened?” Nie Huaisang snaps, clearly already going into crisis mode, and Nie Mingjue wishes this was something Nie Huaisang could do for him, that there was something to fight, but there’s not.

“I’m not sure if Xichen still loves me,” is what Nie Mingjue says to Nie Huaisang and then he can’t speak anymore, because his tears and sobs are choking him.

He already lost Jiang Cheng and didn’t get to grieve for him because Lan Xichen is so adamant in his belief that he is still alive, but now it seems like Lan Xichen is also slipping through his fingers and it’s just too much. All of his grief and pain come to the forefront now and they completely overwhelm Nie Mingjue.

Nie Mingjue is not too sure how they end up on the couch with Nie Huaisang petting his head, but Nie Mingjue feels raw and hurt and he’s not inclined to leave just yet or move ever again. At least here, nothing can hurt him.

“He loves you,” Nie Huaisang says long after Nie Mingjue’s last tear fell and Nie Mingjue immediately tenses.

“You don’t know that. You haven’t seen him lately,” Nie Mingjue whispers, his voice cracking when he remembers the cold look in Lan Xichen’s eyes and how the only time he seems to be filled with any feeling at all—even if it is murderous rage—is when they talk about Jiang Cheng or go after Wens.

“I do, because he’s here,” Nie Huaisang lowly gives back, not ceasing his calming motion of carding his fingers through Nie Mingjue’s hair. “He called me around half an hour ago.”

“Oh,” Nie Mingjue whispers, because he didn’t even notice that.

“I told him to wait in another room, because I wanted to check with you first, but he seemed frantic. He said you left after a fight.”

“A fight,” Nie Mingjue huffs out, because that could barely be classified as a fight. “I don’t think he cares enough to actually fight with me,” Nie Mingjue whispers and Nie Huaisang makes a thoughtful noise.

“Well, he seems to care enough about you to fight with me,” he finally gives back and Nie Mingjue looks questioningly at him.

“What do you mean?” he asks when Nie Huaisang doesn’t seem inclined to answer and Nie Huaisang gives him a small smile.

“You were still in the middle of your breakdown when he called me,” he easily says, “and I wasn’t inclined to let him meet you when he is the cause for this, so I told him to get fucked,” Nie Huaisang says with a shrug. “He didn’t take that well and yelled at me for about five minutes before he argued me half to death as to why he has to see you. Jiang Cheng’s name only fell once, I counted,” Nie Huaisang reassures Nie Mingjue, who finally sits up.

“What do you think?” Nie Mingjue asks his brother, because he does usually have a better insight into people’s minds than Nie Mingjue does.

“I think he loves you. I think it’s easier for him to only concentrate on the Wens because it gives him something to do and a front to hide behind. I think he’s afraid he’s going to lose you, too, and that maybe that non-fight you were having was the push he needed.”

“You think I should forgive him.”

“I think you should talk to him and see what he has to say. Maybe even make him work for it,” Nie Huaisang corrects him. “I don’t want you two to break up, because I saw what losing Jiang Cheng already did to you, but if he doesn’t remember how to love you, then I will kill him myself,” Nie Huaisang then says, and Nie Mingjue has to smile at that, because that’s much more like his brother.

“Fine, I’ll see him,” Nie Mingjue eventually says with a smile and Nie Huaisang gives him a thumbs up.

Nie Mingjue has to admit that even the fact that Lan Xichen came for him and didn’t just wait it out does wonders to reassure him and set his fears that maybe Lan Xichen doesn’t care for anyone else but Jiang Cheng at rest, but he has to hear him say it as well.

And Lan Xichen clearly has to hear that this whole thing hasn’t been easy on Nie Mingjue either, if his callous words are anything to go by.

Nie Huaisang leaves and a few moments later Lan Xichen steps into the room. Nie Mingjue doesn’t bother to stand up, or try to look even a little bit more presentable, and going by how wide Lan Xichen’s eyes get, he makes quite the miserable sight, though it only lasts a second before Lan Xichen puts a mask over his face.

Nie Mingjue forgot long ago that Lan Xichen used to be an expert in shielding his emotions, and he doesn’t like being reminded of this at all. He thought they were long past this.

“Are you coming back?” is the first thing Lan Xichen asks him and Nie Mingjue wonders if what Nie Huaisang said is even true.

Lan Xichen doesn’t seem ready to fight for Nie Mingjue, but instead he seems ready to go out and kill some Wens again. He doesn’t even seem to want to talk. Lan Xichen has Shuoyue in his hand and death in his eyes, but Nie Mingjue can’t do this, not anymore.

Nie Mingjue is tired.

“I’m not,” he says, from his position on the couch, and he can’t even bring himself to look at Lan Xichen, can’t stomach to see the cold, detached look on his face, can’t stomach to see that Lan Xichen is so very clearly done with them.

But even if Lan Xichen is about to shatter Nie Mingjue’s heart into thousand pieces, he’s not supposed to be this. His light is supposed to laugh and be happy.

“So you truly don’t care,” Lan Xichen harshly says and at that Nie Mingjue’s head snaps up to him.

“I care so goddamn much that it feels like it’s tearing me apart,” he hisses at Lan Xichen. “But I can’t do this. I’m not strong enough to lose you so shortly after Jiang Cheng and I certainly can’t watch it happening.”

“You’re not losing me,” Lan Xichen says with a frown and Nie Mingjue can’t help the bitter laugh he lets out at that.

He is definitely losing Lan Xichen if he can’t even tell Nie Mingjue that he still cares about him, there’s no way around that.

“Xichen, look at you. There’s nothing left of you, it’s all Zewu-Jun. And I’m not strong enough to bring you back. I haven’t been the first time and I wouldn’t even know where to start this time, with how you don’t even seem to care about me anymore. What good am I to you if I can’t even do that?”

“What?” Lan Xichen asks and Nie Mingjue puts his head in his hands.

“I don’t know how to get you back without him, I no longer know how to make you care about me, and I don’t know how I’m going to survive losing both of you,” Nie Mingjue whispers and he startles when Lan Xichen sits down next to him and pulls him into a hug.

Nie Mingjue freezes because this amount of contact hasn’t happened in weeks and he doesn’t want to spook Lan Xichen into pulling away.

“I came back for you,” Lan Xichen whispers and he sounds choked up. “That first time, I came back for you, and I can do it again,” he promises him, but Nie Mingjue knows better than to believe empty promises.

“Don’t lie to me, Xichen, that only makes it worse,” he bitterly says, but Lan Xichen is relentless.

“It was you, it was all you. I came back for you, our heart had little to do with that,” he promises Nie Mingjue, but it’s hard to believe, especially when Lan Xichen doesn’t seem to care about him at all anymore.

Nie Mingjue still remembers the first evening they met Jiang Cheng, remembers how Lan Xichen’s eyes were glued to him the whole evening, and it was immediately afterwards that Lan Xichen began to soften again.

Jiang Cheng had managed to do in one evening what Nie Mingjue had failed to do for months and what he’s failing to do now.

“I thought you wanted them dead, too. I thought you wanted justice for Wanyin and the Jiangs as well,” Lan Xichen says, without letting go of Nie Mingjue.

“I do,” Nie Mingjue immediately says, because he does want to see every last Wen dead. Not if it has to be a trade, though. “But I want to keep you more. I want you to love me again” he finishes and Lan Xichen sighs.

“I have always loved you,” he whispers and Nie Mingjue wants to believe him so badly, but he doesn’t know if he can. “Why didn’t you say about the other things, though, my soul?” he softly asks and Nie Mingjue immediately feels like crying because Lan Xichen hasn’t sounded like this in a long time.

“I’m not enough for you,” Nie Mingjue whispers, because that is something he had been forced to accept with every inch Lan Xichen slid closer to being Zewu-Jun.

“You’re my everything, my soul!” Lan Xichen insistently tells him. “What use is there for light in the eyes and a beating heart if there is no soul to make it worth it?” Lan Xichen wants to know and Nie Mingjue wants to believe it—he does—but the way only Jiang Cheng kept Lan Xichen tethered to his sanity speaks volumes to him.

“Just come back to me,” Nie Mingjue says, clutching at Lan Xichen’s arm, because he can’t say anything to what Lan Xichen tries to make him believe.

“I’m here,” Lan Xichen promises him and presses a kiss to his temple. “And I won’t leave you again, I’m sorry, my soul,” he goes on and Nie Mingjue hopes that he can believe him, at least this time.

Link to my ko-fi on the sidebar!

#bt writes #the untamed #mdzs #mingxicheng #mafia au #angst #hurt no comfort #yet #violence #murder #missing person #grieving #please remember that this is not tagged as mcd #and it's still mingxicheng #even though this is mostly #nielan

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robininthelabyrinth · 5 years ago

Note

Wei Wuxian never had the patience for embroidery, and Jiang Yanli was passable, but preferred cooking. Jiang Cheng found it comforting, stabbing something over and over again, with a better result than breaking training dummies.

It started with Jiang Cheng being a sticky child, refusing to leave his jie’s side even when she sat for her embroidery lessons; with him being noisy and troublesome and the teacher just shoving the needle and thread into his hands with a muttered comment about it being good for men to know how to repair their own clothing – as if a future sect leader would ever need to know something like that.

Jiang Cheng quieted down and focused, all hard work and determination to please the way he went about all aspects of his life – he wasn’t a natural talent, in cultivation or swordmanship or even this, but he always tried his best.

His mother covered her mouth with her hand to hide her laughter when he presented her with the results of several weeks’ worth: it was just barely recognizable as the world’s ugliest duck.

“A symbol of loving devotion,” one of her maids said.

“There’s only one, though,” the other maid said. “They’re supposed to be a pair.”

“He’s still young,” Madame Yu said, and then held up a fabric with a vaguely incoherent green-white-pink blob. “And anyway, it’s still better than this – what is this supposed to be again, A-Li?”

“A lotus flower,” Jiang Yanli replied, utterly untroubled by her mother’s criticism.

Madame Yu and her maids studied the fabric for a little while longer, trying to identify a flower inside the knot of threads, helpless expressions on their face.

“A-Cheng is a duck without a partner and A-Li is unrestrained by commonly understood boundaries,” Madame Yu finally said, pinching her nose. “With signs as inauspicious as this…well, at least you still have your father to hold up the world for you.”

“Men care more about cooking skills anyway,” one of her maids said. “And A-Cheng is an heir to a sect: he’ll find himself a lady duck one day. Maybe even a whole set of them.”

“He’d better not find a whole set of them!”

There was a small needle on the floor of the hut where the Wen sect had stuffed him away – too small and thin to attack anyone, even if a useless waste with no golden core could muster an attack at all, and so it had been overlooked.

Jiang Cheng held it over the flame of the lamp to sterilize it, and then, with shaking hands, turned it on his own flesh.

He didn’t have a choice – it was that or die bleeding out onto the floor of some closet in the Lotus Pier he’d never even known existed, some of the cuts left by the Wens too deep to be left alone even for a little while, and he didn’t have spiritual energy to encourage the healing process.

Maybe he should just die. What was the point of living? He was a waste, now. Maybe the deep cuts were even meant to be a kindness – a way out of the misery that awaited him, a life of being Wen Chao’s slave, an object of pity and mockery.

Jiang Cheng’s hands might be shaking, but his embroidery was good: he’d kept it up, citing it as good training for precision, a way to improve his dexterity, but in fact it was the only thing that could make his mother smile at him anymore. Sure, she yelled about him wasting time with feminine pursuits when he ought to be cultivating, training, getting stronger, surpassing Wei Wuxian, but when she looked at the little things he made for her, she still smiled, almost as if she couldn’t help herself.

She wouldn’t smile for him any longer. Neither smile nor scolding.

Jiang Cheng would live to see Wei Wuxian take the revenge their parents deserved. He could wait until that was done to die.

A regular needle could prick the finger of a cultivator a thousand times before drawing a single drop of blood.

Jiang Cheng’s fingers were covered in bandages, but the new disciples of his Jiang sect had robes embroidered with lotuses, the way they should have, and they need not be ashamed to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with the other sects in battle.

It wasn’t a job a sect leader should ever do, but there was no one else to do it; any money had to be spent on supplies, none left over for paying seamstresses to do something impractical, and the few women who joined up expected to be used for their skill at the sword, not the needle.

It was just another thing he had to do with no time to do it – he had to train himself in preparation for battle, teach the new disciples the Jiang sect techniques, make sure they had enough to eat and drink, keep one step ahead of the Wen sect’s forces that sought to destroy them, recruit new sects to join their cause and all of it while searching desperately for Wei Wuxian, who had gone missing.

(Sometimes, in his nightmares, Jiang Cheng wondered if Baoshan Sanren had seen through their mischief, recognized him as someone other than her disciple’s son, and demanded a price be paid for the gift she had given him.)

At least embroidery was something he could do at night when he couldn’t sleep, something productive that wouldn’t disturb the sentries or make anyone worry about him.

Sometimes, Lan Wangji – who had joined him in searching for Wei Wuxian – would come and sit next to him at the early hours of the night, undoubtedly fleeing nightmares of his own. His meditation didn’t bother Jiang Cheng, and as much as he hated to admit it, the company was welcome.

That didn’t stop him from embroidering a small awkward stork on the inside of Lan Wangji’s forehead ribbon the one time the other man had asked him for help fixing it after it’d been cut in battle.

“I know Madame Jin probably already got you something better,” Jiang Cheng said, his fingers twisting together – in fact, he hadn’t thought of it at all, not until he reached Lanling and heard the women on the street speculating as to which skilled seamstress had been retained to embroider all the auspicious signs onto the wedding clothing of the Jin sect’s new daughter-in-law.

It hadn’t even occurred to him that they would just buy a set pre-made – wedding clothing was traditionally embroidered by the bride herself, preparations made over the years, and of course the set Jiang Yanli had (with no real motivation or ambition) been working on had gone up in flames along with the Lotus Pier. When she’d come to let him know about Jin Zixuan’s impending proposal, and that she intended to accept, Jiang Cheng had panicked and ordered the silks and thread himself; his sister was passable at embroidery at the best of times, much worse when under pressure or a deadline, and he didn’t want the Jin sect to laugh at her.

He should have realized. What didn’t the Jin sect solve with money?

“As if I would wear anything other than what A-Cheng made for me,” Jiang Yanli said, voice warm as she ran her hands over the red silk he’d brought with him, the golden threads glinting. “It’s beautiful. Your ducks have gotten much better since your first attempt, all those years ago.”

Jiang Cheng covered his face with embarrassment. His mother had kept that stupid hideous duck for years, often just sitting in her pocket alongside regular necessities so that she could pull it out to embarrass him whenever she pleased; it had probably only died when she had.

“I left some undone for you to finish,” he said through his fingers. “I brought the thread…if you want?”

“Of course. A-Cheng will sit by me and make sure I don’t make any mistakes.”

The last pair of ducks ended up crooked, their heads too close together, their beaks at such an odd angle that it almost looked like a smile; they were Jiang Cheng’s favorite ones of all.

“For you,” Jiang Cheng said, shoving the box into Wei Wuxian’s arms and ignoring the look of confusion. “For when Hanguang-jun finally decides to live up to his responsibilities.”

“What are you talking about?” Wei Wuxian said blankly. “Why are you even at the Cloud Recesses?”

Jiang Cheng sneered because it was easier than doing anything else. It was the first time he’d seen Wei Wuxian since the events at the Guanyin temple: Wei Wuxian hadn’t come back to the Lotus Pier, not once, even though Jin Ling had tried several times to invite him.

“Am I not allowed, now?” he demanded irritably. “I’m a sect leader; I have a visitor’s token, same as anyone else. Anyway, I have other business to attend to – just take it and be done with it. Don’t make a fuss.”

It was a mistake to say that – as soon as Wei Wuxian realized there was the possibility of a fuss, he couldn’t wait to confront it at once, and disregarded all rules of etiquette to pull open the box right there as they stood, before even Jiang Cheng left.

“Red…?” Wei Wuxian’s eyes went wide. “Jiang Cheng, you got me wedding clothing.”

“Reused ones,” Jiang Cheng said before Wei Wuxian could get too emotional or anything. “The only adjustments were to the size and shape – don’t think too highly of yourself!”

“Sect Leader Jiang is too humble,” Lan Wangji said from the door. “It must have been a great effort to make clothing for a man from the ones your sister wore.”

“Sister…? You – this is what shijie married in?”

Jiang Cheng glared at the immovable Lan Wangji rather than look at Wei Wuxian. “Her marriage was happy,” he said stiffly. “Yes, it was cut short –”

Best not to say by whom.

“– but it was still happy. It’s not meant to be a bad omen or a curse…I thought you’d like it. Not that I expected you’d remember what it looked like, with your memory.”

“Of course I like it!” Wei Wuxian exclaimed, hugging the red fabric to his chest. “You made it for shijie, and she finished it, right?”

“I had to add some more fabric to make up for the size difference,” Jiang Cheng said, still refusing to look at him directly. At least Lan Wangji had the good grace to be easy to glare at, that pig who dug up his family’s (lost, dead, resurrected) cabbage. “There are a few more that still need finishing. That way, it’ll have something from all of us – don’t you dare cry at me!”

“I’m not crying! My eyes are watering from laughter at how sentimental you are, that’s all!”

“It is good that we will both have signs of Sect Leader Jiang’s approval with us,” Lan Wangji said mildly.

Wei Wuxian turned to him at once. “Both? What do you have?”

Jiang Cheng was equally confused, and only when Lan Wangji reached up to his forehead ribbon did he remember his fit of pettiness in horror. “Wait, no, don’t – it can’t still be there –”

It was.

Wei Wuxian’s cackles followed him as he fled.

#mdzs #jiang cheng #wei wuxian #yu ziyuan #jiang yanli #lan wangji #wangxian #my fic #my fics #I really like how this one came out actually #Anonymous

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canary3d-obsessed · 4 years ago

Text

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 11 first part

(Masterpost) (Other Canary Goodness)

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

Okay! This episode is a real slice of healthy family dynamics, not triggering in any way. [Uh if this is your first Restless Rewatch: that is sarcasm, dear readers]

Goodbye to You, Goodbye to Everything We Knew

Nie Huaisang asks why Meng Yao has to leave and Meng Yao says "I killed a guy without permission, so your brother fired me."

Ha ha ha ha no he doesn't. But he does give Nie Huaisang a sweet, sad smile; he seems touched by NHS's distress.

Meng Yao carefully removes Nie Huaisang's hands from his shoulders and bows to him, wordlessly signaling the change in their relationship from intimate friends to formal strangers, while Nie Huaisang looks crushed.

They will return to intimate friendship in the future, but falsely. Meng Yao believes that truly loving a person can include destroying their family and using them as an instrument in your murder plots as long as you don't directly harm them. Nie Huaisang eventually learns to use people just as brutally, but he doesn't lie to himself about what he's doing. This farewell may be the last harmless moment between these friends.

Jiang Cheng is distressed by what's going on, while Wei Wuxian crosses his arms and watches, fully in Sherlock Holmes mode, instead of his more usual concerned-for-my-friend mode. This may signal mistrust of Meng Yao, who refused his initial attempt at friendship, and not in a sexy, slice-your-face-off way. Or it may mean that he's reserving judgement on a complicated family situation. He maintains his uncharacteristic reserve through the entire encounter.

(more behind the cut!)

Nie Huaisang runs in and asks his brother WTF happened. Nie Mingjue says "he killed my subordinate without permission, when he knows perfectly well power must flow from the ruler; it's like he didn't even read that Foucault book I gave him."

Ha ha ha actually he just yells at his brother, as if NHS doesn’t have his own relationship with Meng Yao after being wonder twink powers with him for probably a couple of years now. NHS has to sit and process his loss and confusion in silence.

As a younger sibling who would make friends with my older siblings' girlfriends and then lose those friends if they broke up, for reasons having nothing to do with why I liked their girlfriends, I super feel Nie Huaisang's pain here.

OTOH, older siblings are entitled to have break ups and not explain themselves to anyone besides their lover because that's the nature of intimacy. The moral is, uhh...don't have a family curse that makes you unreasonably angry.

Jiang Cheng steps up to advocate for Meng Yao, because Meng Yao is injured, and because Jiang Cheng is actually a born leader who knows better than to throw away a useful subordinate. For example, even when Wei Wuxian is at his drunkest and most defiant, Jiang Cheng tries to reform him, not kick him out, only drawing the line at having unpopular zombie friends.

Wei Wuxian continues to keep his mouth shut, waiting for Nie Mingjue to calm down, and speaking only about the tactical situation. He clearly knows there's more to this story but he's pretty good at keeping his head down in a family ruckus, and we're about to learn why.

Yunmeng Town

The Yunmeng bros go home to Lotus Pier, where they are greeted in town with bows, smiles, and free stuff.

We've mostly been seeing them in their roles within the cultivation community, where Jiang Cheng is grumpy and anxious, and Wei Wuxian is sassy and iconoclastic. Here among common people, they are both charming, friendly, and polite, like the imaginary good kind of gentry.

They hear the news from a local lotus seller that the small clans are coming to the Jiang Clan for shelter, but that otherwise everything's ok, which doesn't sound like everything is ok at all. He gives Wei Wuxian a giant bag of lotuses for his sister to make soup from.

Home to Lotus Pier

All the disciples practicing in the courtyard at Lotus Pier are excited to see them, and one girl goes running to tell Jiang Yanli. Thanks to the admittedly beautiful design of Lotus Pier, she is running for a long time.

A long, long time. Getting around on all these insane walkways must be a real drag if you're not the flying sort of cultivator.

Discipline and Punish

Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian immediately go and kneel while they wait for their official punishment. Jiang Cheng is kinda worried about the punishment and Wei Wuxian is like, I'm good at being punished, just let me do it.

Much later, and for a really long fucking time

He also tries to get Jiang Cheng to stop being mad, even giving him skritches while he says they should be brothers after they die.

Which they will, as it happens, although Jiang Cheng after the Wen torture is only mostly golden-core dead, while WWX dies for real.

When Jiang Fengmian shows up Jiang Cheng starts to explain that they were with Lan Wangji, but Wei Wuxian hushes him; he is still keeping the secret of the Yin Iron. Although he's keeping it in exactly the manner that a teenager keeps their weed stash secret: immediately tell literally every teen friend about it, but keep it extra secret from everybody's parents.

Happy Families Are All Alike

Now we get to meet Yu Ziyuan, who is generally styled Madame Yu but who I'm going to call by her name just as if she was a male character. More on that concept in a minute. She rolls up looking, smelling, feeling like a million yuan, with her two murder bitches in tow.

Her marriage is an unhappy one, and her husband does his best to avoid her and avoid conflict, lying to the kids that she's tired and then sending her away later with the same line about being tired, which is a particularly gendered kind of gaslighting. She is obviously not tired, other than being tired of Jiang Fengmian's shit.

I'm not going to say she's the worst mother ever, because parenthood in a feudal society entails a wide range of skills, many of which she has in abundance. She starts off with a relatively tender greeting to Jiang Cheng, tuning up his always-amazing sartorial style, which is exactly like her own. They are all ready for the mommy & me fashion show.

That said, she dishes out hellacious verbal abuse to everyone in her family. She targets each one in turn, making Wei Wuxian the focus of most of her ire, but without ever directly speaking to him. He is not, in her view, part of her family.

The Stages of Family Dinner

1. Try to fix it and defuse the situation

2. Yeah no

3. Just keep your head down and be glad it’s not your turn in the hot seat

This family meal hammers home how much Wei Wuxian is not, actually, part of the family. Jiang Fengmian adopted him into the clan, and told A-Cheng and A-Yi to treat him as a sibling, but he didn't give him the Jiang name, and he didn't get his wife's approval. He also doesn’t expect him to dress like any other clan member, apparently.

Compare this to how Lan Wangji, actual good parent, fully integrates his own adopted son into his clan and family, starting with giving him the Lan surname.

The hits just keep coming as she goes after Jiang Cheng for being less gifted than Wei Wuxian, Yanli for performing labor for Wei Wuxian, and Jiang Fengmian for possibly begetting Wei Wuxian.

On first watching this scene I took her question "Is this how you raise someone else's son?" to mean that she thought Jiang Fengmian was being too nice to a kid who was actually an outsider, taking resources away from the real kids. But on rewatching, it's pretty clear that she's saying his favoring Wei Wuxian is evidence that Wei Wuxian is NOT someone else's son; that he's Jiang Fengmian's bastard.

Jiang Fengmian doesn't say a thing to this, or to her mentioning WWX’s mother. This shit is why WWX is running around in the world desperate for any crumb of info he can get about his Mom; he hears about her all the goddamn time at home, but only as insults to her character.

A Bitch is Not Wrong

Here's the thing, though; a lot of what Yu Ziyuan says is correct.

Jiang Fengmian should be a lot more concerned about the danger to the children, and should not leave it up to the kids to decide who's going to bear that danger.

Yanli does a lot of food=love, which is ok in the right doses, but causes her to pretty extremely lose face during the whole "soup for Jin Zixuan" debacle. And her doting on Wei Wuxian is...kinda excessive. I mean, yeah, she’s more like a mom than a sister to him, but still. Running out onto an active battlefield to look for him, frex, will be a skosh too much.

I have a dictionary too, mom

Jiang Cheng, as the future clan leader, shouldn't let his attachments affect his decision making, and should let Wei Wuxian, who's the superior cultivator, fend for himself more often. We love Jiang Cheng for those moments where he puts himself in harm's way to protect his loved ones, but it's not a good strategy. He constantly yells at Wei Wuxian for the exact same thing he does all the time himself; he just limits who he does it for.

After she roasts the shit out of everyone for these failings, she leaves, and everyone sits around being miserable and not talking about what just happened.

Not to be gender studies-y on main but: the awful things she says to her children are really not very different from the things that Jiang Cheng says to Jin Ling, although her targeting is more adept. JC also says a lot of mean things to WWX when he’s angry. When a man says cruel or insulting things, it's often presented as real love hidden under a rough exterior. When a woman does it, she's a monster.

If you enjoy this sort of interaction you should definitely have a look at Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf and the plays of Eugene O'Neill.

Road Runner

Oh thank god, moving on

Lan Wangji is headed back to Cloud Recesses, and gets ambushed by the roadside with the most ridiculous trap this side of Wile E. Coyote.

Wen Chao thinks the "rug over a hole" trap is a good idea for someone who can literally fly.

Lan Wangji doesn't faff about with sword riding, he just fucking goes up in the air and stays there until he is good goddamn ready to come down. A hole in the sidewalk is really not going to be a problem for him.

Wen Zhuliu does get in one kick before Lan Wanji yeets backwards away from him, in a moment that's scarier on rewatching, now that I know what Wen Zhuliu is capable of.

Wen Chao talks some smack to Lan Wangji, hilariously complaining about "your patronizing tone" to a man who has literally never spoken a word to him, IIRC, and certainly isn't speaking now. Maybe it's a mistranslation and should be "attitude," or maybe Wen Chao is just that dumb.

Apparently Wei Wuxian made a stack of talismans for Lan Wangji to take on the road with him. This talisman is a twin to the one Lan Wangji brings out way, way later in Yunping, when Wei Wuxian says "you even have kept it until now." Missing scene alert! What else did he make for him?

In Yunping this talisman is used to distract some random harmless street bullies. Here it is used against a seven-man murder squad.

This works.

Assault on Cloud Recesses

Forgettable disciple #1, Su She, comes rushing in to tell Lan Qiren and Lan Xichen that Cloud Recesses is under attack.

I'm pretty sure these dudes already know it, because they are meditating extra hard with a buttload of incense, and Lan Qiren is about to cough up some blood. So I think they're trying to hold the ward, rather than just, like, chilling while their disciples get stabbed.

Cloud Recesses is super on fire, you guys; it's going to totally burn to the ground; look at that conflagration, oh the humanity, etc.

Lan Qiren Rises to the Occasion

Ok, I like to rag on Failmaster Qiren and he is definitely an authoritarian dick a whole lot of the time, but in this scene he is fucking amazing.

He starts off worrying about Lan Wangji, not just out of affection but out of strategic planning, probably in equal parts. All three of these Lans take their clan responsibilities extremely seriously.

Then he calmly assesses the situation while imperturbable Lan Xichen freaks the fuck out.

Lan Xichen is right to be alarmed, because he knows his uncle, he knows one of them is likely to die, and he knows that Lan Qiren will choose to take the hit.

I love, love, love Lan Qiren's physicality here; how centered and assured he is, as he holds his nephew steady and explains what is required of both of them.

Lan Xichen knows Lan Qiren is right. He is utterly fucking devastated, and all he can do to show his love...

...is to obey.

This whole scene just. kills me.

Su She and forgettable disciple #2 are in the room for this whole conversation, and they join Lan Xichen in this deep bow. Note: I will be reminding everyone of this fact in Part 2.

Whew. This episode is a LOT. Part 2 Coming Soon!

Writing Prompt: What other goodies did Wei Wuxian put in Lan Wangji's care package before Lan Wangji hit the road without saying goodbye?

Soundtrack: 1. Michelle Branch, Goodbye to You 2. Ludacris, Stand Up

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